The Hollywood Gossip stops at nothing to bring you the hottest celebrity gossip and news first-hand, straight from the beautiful stars you care about most.
We also try to get dates with Kourtney Kardashian.
As featured last week on Khloe and Kourtney Take Miami, the latter Kardashian was being pimped by the former, who held open auditions for boyfriends.
She was probably already knocked up by Scott Disick, but we didn’t know that at the time. All our staff member could focus on was a chance with Kourtney.
Wearing sunglasses to remain incognito, he went underkover, taking a place in line with upstanding dudes with no jobs one random weekday in Miami …
Despite a glimmer of hope – he was told he was "hot" and was told to take his shirt off – he ultimately was not asked to take Kourtney out on a date.
Lame.
She even told the cameras there was no chance she would date any of the guys. Talk about a slap in the face of one of THG’s most eligible bachelor.
All in all, it was a giant sham. Apparently these Kardashians prefer ringers and pro athletes (see our Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom article).
Check out the full account of his efforts below. Spoiler: He is asked within 45 seconds how his penis is doing.
I got in line a little before noon.
There couldn’t have been more than a dozen dudes there. Good move holding the event in the middle of a work day. Are you trying to only set Kourtney up with jobless losers, Khloe?!?
It was 87 degrees out. But that didn’t seem to bother Khloe, who just sat in her Porsche Cayenne, while 20 crew members tried to figure out how the dating interviews would actually work.
There were also two SWAT guys, one police officer and multiple bouncers present; the 10 of us, which included at least one obvious homeless person, were almost outnumbered.
Finally, the event began.
A Dash employee led the first couple suitors inside. Then, some random dude jumped out of his car, cut the line and was immediately escorted into the store. He walked out a few minutes later with his shirt off.
Oddly, Khloe came out (sorry, kame out) a couple moments later and personally invited me inside. The girls seemed strangely excited to meet me, which I later discovered was due to the good word put in on my behalf by a Miami Herald reporter that I had befriended in line.
I stood across from the sisters. Kourtney quietly asked how I was doing. Before I even had a chance to smile, Khloe practically leaped over the table and asked:
HOW’S YOUR PENIS?!?
It was growing more frightening by the second. Almost every question was asked by Khloe (Kourtney uttered the occasional "I like that" and no more) and almost every question was sexual in nature:
What were my fetishes? Had I fathered any unwanted children? Did I have any STDs? When was my last sexual activity?
They said I was "hot" and had me take my shirt off, which gave me a chance to show off my six-pack. Okay, two-pack.
Okay, stomach.
But they must have been impressed enough and/or contractually obligated by E! to ask for my cell phone number.
A few other notes from the afternoon:
- Both sisters are really attractive. Khloe isn’t as tall or imposing as she looks in photos; Kourtney is just tiny. Like a beautiful gnome.
- I witnessed Dash patrons having to sign a waiver before they could enter the store.
- Someone on line told me that the clothing boutique is rarely actually open; unless cameras are rolling, the doors remain closed.
The show premieres in late summer and they assured me I’d be featured on an episode.
I feel so used.