It’s time to meet Rob.
Average Rob, actually, which is what this random guy goes by on Instagram.
On this social media platform, Average Rob describes himself as just a “mediocre dude from Belgium,” but he’s clearly being modest.
Why? Because Rob has slept with nearly every A-List celebrity in Hollywood, from famous singers to models to actresses and more.
How has he pulled this off? Photoshop, some might say.
But we’ll let Rob’s Instagram pictures speak for themselves…
Taylor Swift
Rob was able to sleep with Swift on a park bench. We didn’t know she liked it in public!
Barack Obama
GASP! It’s a good thing this relationship wasn’t exposed while Obama was in office!
David Beckham
Rob is open to either men or women. And it helps when the men look like Beckham.
Eminem
AWWW! The rapper cuddled afterward. Sort of.
Mila Kunis
Silly Mila. It seems just like her to have a bit of fun post-coitus, don’t you agree?
Margot Robbie
He apparently did it (many) doggie style with this gorgeous actress. Nice!
Ryan Reynolds
Ummm… we don’t want to know what these two did with that stuffed bear. (Or do we?!?)
Kanye West
It looks like Rob and Kanye wore each other out! (We’re going to choose to ignore the child who is also asleep on that sofa.)
Selena Gomez
Yo, Rob, we think Selena is ready for you to go home. She appears to be very done with you at this point.
All the Belgian Red Devils
Impressive.
Justin Bieber
Rob is not literally sleeping with Bieber in this photo. But both are in their underwear. And the singer is receiving a high-five. You do the math.
Hillary Clin…
… actually, no thank you. Sorry, Near Madame President. Get your revenge on Bill with some other guy.
Sorry, Miley
Rob is so wanted by so many stars that he can pick and choose who he wants to sleep with. Based on his facial expression here, we don’t think Miley made the cut.