On top of espousing his love for Trump, sporting a MAGA hat, and claiming to have “dragon energy,” Kanye West decided to also essentially blame black people for slavery.
It did not go over well. At all. And neither did Kanye’s attempted explanation.
Since Kim Kardashian has insisted that this is not a mental health issue, and since mental health advocates are discouraging people from blaming mental illness for bad behavior, many are left to assume that Kanye is just … bad.
Or at least suffering from the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
After this latest claim, that 400 years of slavery was somehow a choice that black people made, Black Twitter was all over it.
In real life, people know that slaves were separated from their families, forbidden to read or write, forced to abandon their religions, shackled, and often mutilated as punishment.
But, in order to satirize the absurdity of Kanye’s claims, these hilarious tweets try to imagine a world where slavery somehow was a choice.
The results are much, much funnier than the very grim subject matter. Take a look:
Imagine clocking out of slavery
If slavery were a choice, many imagine that it would be similar to working today. Which can be less than fun, but definitely isn’t like real slavery.
So THAT was the secret!
The number that she chose is not random. It of course refers to the date of the Civil War.
Whoops!
If only real life had been so civilized.
Some imagined how they’d choose masters
“Slavecare” is a hell of an idea. Oh no, we hope that the writers of HBO’s trainwreck of a series “Confederate” don’t see this.
One “job” title was clearly coveted
Even slaves have varying levels of status. That’s a grim fact from history.
If it’s a choice, they could have said “no”
Again, if only the colonizers and slavers had been more civilized.
Real slaves would have some things to explain to Kanye
Harriet Tubman was a hero.
Actual slaves had no such luxury
Honestly, even a voluntary job would fire someone for doing this.
Slur warning, folks
There is a degree of absurdism to the idea of someone instructing slaves getting reported to HR.
Politeness matters
If slavery were a choice, then rudeness might cause a slave to quit and seek enslavement somewhere else.
And you’d have office meals, right?
Always good to bond with your coworkers … in an alternate reality where that was allowed.
This one brings up embezzlement
Actual slaves risked losing life and limb if they took so much as an extra sip of water.
The worldbuilding gets more elaborate
This person imagines a university for slaves.
A meme within a meme
The “white guy blinking in surprise” meme is always welcome.
False advertising?
That’s how they get you … in Kanye’s version of history, we suppose.
Contract law
Again, real slaves were not permitted to even learn how to read and write.
This meme is much newer
Again, if it’s a choice, a person can opt out.
That sounds like the right call
I saw Amistad as a kid and it was INTENSE and heavy.
You want to be surrounded by friends
In real life, slave-owners would separate slaves who were getting along, or pit them against each other in order to sever the social bonds that make us all human.
If it’s a choice, why rush?
Hopefully, none of these people would ever actually come into work that late.
A couple of people imagined their ancestors making this choice
Yes, people can directly trace how far back their ancestry goes to slavery. It’s not as far as you’d think.
This person had the same idea
This version of the past is what plenty of people would love for others to believe.
Some of these are wild
Anachronisms make for great humor.
You’d get weekends off, right?
Again, actual slaves had zero of the “luxuries” for which modern, voluntary workers have fought.
We guess that you make your own schedule
We don’t know enough about agriculture to say whether these months would work for cotton, but that’s not the point.
If it’s a choice, you can leave
In real life, there were bounty hunters and even regular law enforcement who would hunt down escaped slaves. Heartbreaking.
More anachronisms
Rare to see Family Guy used in a funny context
And, of course, sick days
The woman who went viral for “ain’t nobody got time for that” later got clean and turned her life around.
Hard pass
Hard to see someone signing up for more. Or, you know, any.
This Big Brother meme again
Hispaniola is a larger island in the Caribbean.
Another slur warning
Bye!!
And the hits keep coming
Another hard pass.
A classic reference.
Kunta Kinte was LeVar Burton’s famous character from Roots. He was renamed “Toby” to erase his personhood and origins.
A real dilemma
Sadly, by pitting slaves against each other, slave-owners were sometimes able to make real slaves feel similarly conflicted about their loyalties. It’s psychological warfare.
Oh no!!
That is Rachel Dolezal. She is not black.
If only people had known that they had a choice!
No meme is complete without bringing Kermit, the ultimate meme-inspirer, into things.
And this one strikes a more somber note
Those chains were real, and they were just one of many factors that white people used to keep black people enslaved and afraid for centuries.