Jessa Duggar married Ben Seewald on November 1, 2014.
Since then, the couple has welcomed two kids into their blissful world, a two-year old named Spurgeon and a 17-month old named Henry.
Has the relationship between spouses been perfect? No, of course not.
But Jessa believes it has remained strong and powerful due to one main piece of advice that she tries to follow on a daily basis.
Scroll down to find out what we’re talking about…
The Wedding
After a customarily brief courtship, Jessa and Ben exchanged vows at First Baptist Church in Bentonville, Arkansas, which is the same place where Jessa’s sister Jill Duggar also tied the knot (she married the now-ostracized Derick Dillard.
There Were Over 1,000 Guests in Attendance
But no one got to witness the couple’s very first kiss, which the Duggars famously reserve for marriage. “They wanted their very first kiss ever to be in private,” Pastor Mike Schadt said afterward. “It was important to the both of them.” As for rumors that Jana walked in on Jessa and Ben consummating the marriage, well … that’s an awesome rumor.
Meet the Family
Fast forward about three-and-a-half years and here is a photo of the very happy family, as Ben and Jessa have been gushing about parenthood ever since they welcomed little Spurgeon Elliot into their famous universe. He was later joined by a younger brother Henry Wilberforce.
How Does Jessa Make Marriage Work?
Two young kids. TLC cameras all around. Where do Ben and Jessa find time for each other and how does the relaitonship remain strong? It goes beyond mere date nights, the 25-year-old says.
In a Word? Be GRACIOUS.
“Never stop showing gratitude to your spouse for all the things they do to help out,” Duggar tells the tabloid. “It doesn’t matter how big or small. Sometimes couples come to expect things of each other and they stop noticing and appreciating things the other one does to help out with the kids or keep the household running smoothly.”
It May Sound Simple, But…
The Counting On star explains that it’s important to remember at all times, explaining “If your spouse volunteered to change nastiest, stinky diaper or you saw them jump up quickly to clean up a spill, make it a habit to express gratefulness and say, ‘Thank you for doing that.'”
Granted, Date Nights Do Help
Don’t get Jessa wrong. Getting away from your kids, no matter how cute that may be, is critical, too. “Having alone time when you have two young kids doesn’t just happen,” Jessa adds. “We have to be purposeful.”
Make Time for Each Other, However You Can
For this couple in particular, occasionally this means ordering takeout after the kids have gone to bed and eating it at the dining room table. Hey, take the date wherever you can find it!
Don’t Knock These Meals!
“It’s great because our conversations can go long and you’re not on a time-clock with a babysitter or wondering if the baby’s bedtime routine went smoothly,” Duggar says of enjoying stay-at-home dates along with getting out of the house. “It’s a good fit for us at this time in our lives.”
Okay, Fine. But If They Do Go Out?
Where do Jessa and Ben like to go? The TLC stars say they prefer a local drive-through for frozen custard. Or perhaps they pop into a grocery store and pick up two pints of cream. No booze, of course, because that’s strictly forbidden, but this family loves a good dessert.
And If They REALLY Go Out?
Like, to a restaurant? Ben will make the reservations and try to find a unique spot. “He’s the kind of guy who will branch out and order something new every time, even if he has no idea what it is,” Jessa says of her husband. “I’m a creature of habit, so I usually stick with things I’m more familiar with.”
Being Alone with Your Husband is Wonderful
Also wonderful? Just being alone! “Ben is great with the boys and is so sweet to insist on me taking a break from mom duties so I can have quiet time to read, or meet up with a girlfriend or grab a coffee,” Jessa also noted in this same interview.
We All Need This Kind of Timeout, Right?
Just a brief one, however. “I do love these moments of down time and refreshment, but it usually isn’t long before I feel myself missing my babies and longing to be back with them,” says Duggar.
Don’t Forget to Have Some Fun, Too
Like, we don’t know, maybe share some embarrassing love letters sent to you by your spouse many years ago or something. You know, just an idea.
What Else Can We Learn from Jessa?
Watch the promo above for a new season of TLC’s Counting On to find out!