Jenelle Evans is no stranger to the fine art of Twitter ranting.
She’s also very familiar with flawed logic, making excuses, and just being completely and totally deluded in general.
And, lucky for us, she showed off each and every one of those skills this morning!
Yep, while many of us were sleeping in or having breakfast or getting into some fun activities, Jenelle felt the need to hop on Twitter to defend David Eason, her homophobic husband.
Why? We’re not exactly sure.
But boy, is it a wild ride …
A Match Made in Heaven
Jenelle and David are the worst. Just the absolute worst. They are the worst separately, they bring out the worst in each other. The two of them finding each other was just a terrible thing, and it’s not getting any better as time goes on.
How … Sweet?
David has a special way of making Jenelle even wilder than she was before, or at least wild in a different, scarier way. Gone is Stoner Jenelle, and in her place is Road Rage Gun-Pulling Jenelle. Like we said, it’s bad.
Please Stop, David
Another example of how awful he is for her? He may be the reason she finally quits Teen Mom 2, like she’s been threatening to do for years. After he got fired, it really seems like she’s been going back and forth between getting that MTV money and leaving to stand by her man.
Not Good
And can you imagine how scary it would be to be Jenelle, living out on her swamp in a house that is sinking into the ground with David and no MTV film crews to keep an eye on her?
Yikes
But instead of imagining Jenelle’s bleak future, let’s focus on the here and now — and in the here and now, Jenelle is going off on Twitter about how unfair it is that everyone hates David.
Sigh …
And be warned, this is a crazy little rant, even for her.
But First!
Real quick though, let’s refresh our memory on David’s big ol’ homophobic rant, the one that got him fired and inspired Jenelle’s fury today.
What a Jackass
Back in February, David was arguing with people on Twitter about gun control when he busted out “Lmao why don’t you go tell the homo and transgender parents to start teaching their kids better morals? Oh I forgot that’s supposed to be normal.”
Uh …
Someone asked him if he’d be teaching his children to hate gay and transgendered people too, and he answered with “No, I’m going to teach them not to associate with them or be that way… If you lay down with dogs you get up with fleas.”
So Embarrassing
Then, bless his dumb little heart, someone called him homophobic and he replied with “Homophobic? You really lost it now, im not scared if sh-t especially a homo.”
How Rich
He referred to gay people as “abominations,” he said that gay couples shouldn’t have children because it would “confuse” them … so basically he holds all your standard ignorant, bigoted beliefs.
Bye, David!
So MTV fired him from Teen Mom 2, he made some dumb remarks about how he was never fired, he actually quit. Jenelle defended him, and she nearly got fired herself, according to several reports.
Here We Go
And how here we are, all these months later, and for some reason, she felt the need to address the issue.
Crazy
She’s deleted several of her tweets, but she seemed to kick things off with “I will stand by my husband and his opinions until the day we die. I’m sorry he offended anyone in the past, but he doesn’t HATE anyone. Never said that word. We all have opinions and sometimes they can be assholes, everyone has one. Hanging on every word ever spoke. #Crazy.”
You OK, Girl?
Lots of questions here: why is she even bringing this up? Why doesn’t she realize that he didn’t specifically have to say that he hated anyone for that message to come across? How could she mess up that “opinions are like assholes” saying so thoroughly? Why does she say she’ll stand by David “until the day WE die”? That’s pretty creepy, right?
Experiences
She also wrote “You have no idea about the way someone was raised until you get to know them. I know my husband better than anyone else and know exactly what type of man raised him. Only then you might begin to understand. Not my business to be sharing though. #Experiences.”
Just Stop
Someone replied with something about how it’s important to think about the things you can change about yourself — for instance, David could chance his dumb way of thinking — and Jenelle asked “What does he ‘need to change’? You want to force him to change his opinion to agree with you? We aren’t allowed to have two separate opinions anymore today in society and still get along?!”
That’s Not How This Works
Because of course Jenelle is one of those people who think that being a bigot is simply an opinion, and everyone has a right to their own opinion, right? You can’t criticize an opinion, right? RIGHT?!
“I QUIT!”
She also seemed to hint that she was considering quitting Teen Mom 2, saying that the possibility of her signing a new contract for the next season is “not looking pretty.”
This Is JUST What We Need
And when one of her followers suggested that if she did quit, she should get her own show instead, she said “We will see. I have ideas.”
Easy, Killer
Another helpful follower told her she should show that David isn’t a homophobe, and Jenelle went off, writing “I don’t get if someone was raised with certain morals, values, and standards… a very Christian man… why would you try to push him to think the opposite just because you don’t agree?! F-ck you.”
Seriously, Easy
There are so many problems with that tweet, it’s kind of impressive. But first, how hilarious is it that Jenelle is trying to portray David as “a very Christian man” with “morals, values, and standards” when he’s been arrested numerous times for drug charges and DUIs? And when his ex has claimed that he assaulted her more than once?
What a Guy
Even besides his arrest record, we’ve seen him be a horrible person right on our very televisions! He’s been mean to Jenelle’s children and her mother, he’s called both Nathan Griffith and Dr. Drew homophobic slurs. He’s not a good guy, no matter how you look at it.
Just … What?
Also, how cute is it that she’s trying to say David is such a Christian man with all these morals before closing her message with a nice “f-ck you”? None of it makes any sense, but that’s Jenelle for you.
Of Course
Finally, someone tried to tell her that David didn’t just share an opinion, he was being hateful, and she said “Freedom of Speech sucks, doesn’t it. He said one sentence and deleted twitter.”
Forget It
Look, Jenelle doesn’t get it, and she’s never going to get it. David is always going to be a good man with good vaules who has never in his life said or done anything wrong, and she is always going to be a great defender of truth and free speech and all that is just in the world. And that’s just the way it is.