Demi Lovato has always been an open book.
The singer has never shied away over the years from discussing her battles with substance abuse and an eating disorder.
In the YouTube documentary “Simply Complicated,” Lovato is an open… series of books?
We’re not sure how to phrase it, we just know the artist discusses absolutely everything, from her career to her drug use to her most famous relationship.
Scroll down and then all around for a look at all we learned about Lovato in this revealing film:
When Did She First Do Cocaine?
“I was 17 working on Disney Channel, and I was with a couple of friends and they introduced me to it. I was scared because my mom always told me that your heart could just burst if you do it. But I did it anyways and I loved it. I felt out of control with the coke the first time that I did it.”
Yes, She Once Punched a Backup Dancer in the Face
After learning someone named Shorty outed her for using Adderall during a Camp Rock 2 tour, “I remember thinking, ‘I’m about to beat this bitch up.’ She had already boarded the plane, I just went up to her and it was like a blur.”
This Was a “Breaking Point”
Lovato said she slept the whole day afterward, texted her mom an apology and realized she needed major help.
She Entered Rehab, Got Diagnosed as Bipolar…
(Getty) … and then fell off the wagon: “I wasn’t working my program, I wasn’t ready to get sober. I was sneaking it on planes, in bathrooms, nobody knew. I went on a bender of two months when I was using daily and there was one night where I used a bunch of coke, I popped a few Xanax bars and I started to choke a little bit and my heart started racing. I remember thinking, oh my god, I might be overdosing right now.”
This Was the Last Time She Drank:
“I invited 2 random people and basically just drank with them. I got really really drunk until it was time to get on a flight and I was so drunk that I threw up in the back of the car service on the way to the airport to perform on American Idol. I felt like that was a moment in my career where I didn’t care. I just knew that I needed to be high to get through what I was going through at that point.”
It Was On to a Sober Living Facility
(Getty) She retired here every night after judging The X Factor. Said her manager in the documentary of this experience: “She’s having to do chores. She has no cell phone. She’s completely and totally submitted to the process of recovery.”
The Struggle Started as a Child
“I was depressed at a very, very young age. Fascinated with death. Wondering what it would be like to have a funeral. I never knew why I would think so darkly and it took me a long time to figure out what was actually going on.”
She Was Bullied
“When I was 12, I was bullied. I developed a social anxiety where I didn’t trust other girls my age. Then one day, this girl who was popular started saying, ‘Demi should kill herself. She should slit her wrists.’ And it resulted in a suicide petition that got passed around and she had other classmates sign it. And when I asked them why, nobody could give me a specific reason why they were treating me the way they were. I had no friends. I was alone. So I went off of what they were calling me, which was a whore and being fat.”
All About Wilmer Valderrama
(Getty) The actor and Lovato dated for about six years. Demi talks a lot about him in the film. “I’ve never loved anybody like I’ve loved Wilmer. And like I still love Wilmer,” she says.
How Did They Meet?
“I was in hair and makeup and I was like, ‘I love his man and I have to have him.’ But I was only 17 so he was like, ‘Get away from me.’ After I turned 18, we began dating and I think it was love at first sight. I don’t really believe in that, but I believe that it happened. We connected on a level that I’ve never connected with anybody before. He was just my rock, my everything.
So, Why Did They Split?
(Getty) Demi says it “had nothing to do with falling out of love. Instead, “[they] decided together that [they’re] probably just better as friends.”
Does She Have Regrets?
(Getty) “I do have moments where it’s late at night and I’m lonely and I wonder if I made the right decision – because love is a gamble.”
Is She Dating Someone New?
No, but she’s open to it…with either gender: “I am on a dating app with both guys and girls. I am open to human connection. So whether that’s through a male or a female it doesn’t matter to me.”
She Loves Sex
“There’s like a certain stigma around a woman having casual sex. For me, I just feel like it’s my body and it’s my choice and it’s exciting and it’s a connection with somebody and it’s fun.”
She Has an Eating Disorder. She Always Will.
“Food is still the biggest challenge in my life… it controls. I don’t want to give it the power and say that it controls my every thought, but it’s something that I’m constantly thinking about: body image, what I’m going to eat next, what I could be eating, what I wish I didn’t eat. It’s just constant.”
When Is It the Worst?
(Getty Images) “When I feel lonely, my heart feels hungry and then I end up binging and I don’t know how to figure out how to move on.”
How Does She Cope?
“Working out is a form of meditation to me because I’m not focused on anything in my head. It can transport you to a totally different place. I’m on a journey to discover what it’s like to be free of all demons.”
So Grateful for Her Fans
“The benefit I have over some artists is my connection with my fans. So I thought what better way to get my fans involved and to have intimate performances than to throw a house party tour. Things like that can turn into awesome memories and that’s what it’s all about. Like, I wouldn’t have the career that I have today, I wouldn’t be alive today without my fans, and I want them to be involved in any way they can because they mean so much to me.”
And Also So Grateful for Music
“When I look back at my life, I fell like if I didn’t have music, I don’t know what I would have. I have my friends and my family, but music gave me a purpose when I was bullied in school, it gave me the motivation to keep going and prove to everyone that didn’t believe in me that I was going to be something someday.”