On 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 4, Episode 6, the waits are officially over.
Now, every couple is united — in most cases, reunited.
That’s great … but the couples being together now means that more problems can emerge.
For some, that just means health issues or preparing to break news to family members. For others, it means explosive — inevitable — fights.
Debbie Aguero and Oussama
67-year-old Debbie repeatedly states that she feels like she is in a dream as she arrives in Morocco to meet her 24-year-old love, Oussama.
And there he is!
After nervously waiting for her, the two embrace. He then asks her to close her eyes so that he can hold up the pair of flowers that he has for her. Debbie finds the gesture touching, albeit not surprising. They call each other their strange beauties.
Poetry in action
Oussama pours on the charm. Viewers have taken to social media to express how stunned they feel by how likable he is, but that doesn’t mean that they see him the way that Debbie does. It also doesn’t mean that fans think that this will work out for them.
Still, he has plans
Oussama tells Debbie that he’s taking her to Rabat, a nice place. It will be interesting to see what that is like. They are a fascinating, eccentric pair.
Daniele Gates and Yohan Geronimo
Meanwhile, Daniele just slept alone in the Dominican Republic for the first time since she met Yohan. She’s mad that Yohan wasn’t fully honest with her, and she’s even angrier over how defensive he became when they discussed it. Now, he’s on his way over to talk to her.
Yohan wants to patch things up
Wearing an excellent shirt, he talks to Daniele about their fight. And he explains that, first and foremost, it’s a sensitive topic for him. At the time, when the ex was pregnant, he was excited to have a child with her.
And, at first, he believed that it was a miscarriage
He learned otherwise from someone else, months later. While what his ex does with her body is not really his business, he clearly doesn’t enjoy delving into detail about such a sore subject.
Daniele reminds him of his emotional reaction to her question
And Yohan’s response here could be a lesson to countless 90 Day partners: he acknowledges that he overreacted and apologizes.
The two cuddle and make up
It will be interesting to see what these two are like during this season’s Tell All special. Because Yohan and Daniele seem to have a rare level of conflict resolution skills for this franchise.
Gabriel Paboga and Isabel Posada
Though most of Gabe and Isabel’s portion of this episode is pretty lighthearted (and endearing), it begins on a sad note as he recalls a past meeting with a surgeon. Gabriel once went to a surgeon for a consultation, considering getting top surgery. Much more common than the genital surgery that he underwent, top surgery for Gabriel would mean reducing his chest size to bring about less body dysmorphia. Anyway, a previous surgeon did not believe that he was trans. Not in a scummy transphobic way, but believed that Gabriel was a cis man who was lying to him. Super weird experience that left Gabe feeling weirded out and discouraged.
Now, Gabriel is getting a consultation in Colombia
His potential surgeon has not had a lot of trans patients, but he is no stranger to top surgery. As we have noted before, not all trans folks experience physical dysphoria. Gabriel clearly does, and though he can easily pass for cisgender while clothed, he feels uncomfortable with his chest. Despite hormones and natural genetics, he feels like he has too much breast tissue. Notably, sometimes cis men undergo similar surgery to combat conditions like gynecomastia. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, for example.
Gabriel’s surgeon asks the obvious question
Why did he do these surgeries in such an unexpected order? Again, not all trans folks get surgery of any kind, and top surgery is certainly more common, but for someone getting top and bottom surgery, top surgery often comes first. There are a number of reasons for this. It’s easier and lower risk. And it is also often more helpful for social transition — impacting how shirts fit on the body and whether or not someone can go to the beach without a shirt. But for Gabe, his chest was fairly flat already, so he had different priorities.
And you can see why
The surgeon immediately observes that he has a very masculine build, including his chest. Gabe has expressed self-consciousness about his nipples, but the surgeon suggests that he would simply raise their placement. (Notably, nipple placement is something to discuss with a surgeon before many types of chest surgery, even for cis folks)
Gabriel’s big concern is scarring, because he has some conspicuous scars
Price is not going to be as big of an issue. In Colombia, this will only set him back about $3,000. In the US, the price could range from twice that to more than three times that amount for the same procedure. So yeah, Gabe is anxious about scars. Top surgery scars can be a point of pride for many men, but that does not mean that everyone wants them.
So Gabe is on the fence
He sits down and has a very frank, direct conversation with Isabel about his bottom surgery and how that shaped his experiences. He has scars on his legs from where doctors harvested tissue for his phalloplasty (only one type of bottom surgery). It is a conversation involving so many technical terms that he uses a voice translation app on his phone.
There are some adorable missteps
A couple of times, the app mishears Gabe’s English words and translates them into Spanish … leading to hilarity. It really cuts the tension very well. But they’re also funny on their own, without technological assistance.
“I want to live”
When Gabriel discusses options that he has considered and dismissed for furthering his bottom surgery — for example, options to become erect — he mentions that his size could increase as a result of the surgery. Isabel has emphasized that she feels very satisfied by their sex life. And when it comes to size, she might fear for her safety if he grew larger. Nice!
Jen Boecher and Rishi Singh
In India, we see Jen attend an exercise class. She’s not just there to clear her head after her argument with Rishi. Jen is also there to see her good friend, who runs the class.
Jen has known Dheer since her last visit
After class, the two sit down for an on-camera heart to heart. He tells her that Rishi’s family’s acceptance is likely up to Rishi. Simply put, he says that there is a cultural mother-son bond that works both ways. Even if Rishi’s mother opposes the union, she will probably prioritize his happiness in the end. (Of course, we have seen that there are exceptions, such as Sumit’s mom)
Speaking to the camera, Dheer has even more to add
He worries that Rishi is dragging his heels. Jen uprooted her entire life to be with him. Dheer is Jen’s friend; he wants to see her happy.
Rishi comes over
He and Jen once again go up to the roof, this time to fly kites. It’s for a holiday, but apparently this religious celebration can get cutthroat. Or cut-kite, as Jen finds out.
Rishi explains his plan
He more or less tells Jen that he wants her to spend so much time around his family that they’re accustomed to seeing her, and only then tell them about the engagement. That is … a long process to undertake.
Jen just wants him to be honest
No more surprises, please. She’s his fiancee and his future wife. If his family is trying to match him up with someone else, she would like to know. She wants to make plans with Rishi together, not have him tell her what he thinks that she wants to hear.
He wants her to trust him
He tells her that everything will work out if she believes in him. That said, she’s having trouble with trust. That’s pretty understandable.
After all, there are things that Jen doesn’t know yet
In order to help her make a better impression on his family, Rishi introduces Jen to a friend’s family. They will walk her through the expectations that his mother would have of Jen if she became Rishi’s wife and lived with him and the rest of the family. Or, as Jen calls it, “wife training.”
Seeta isn’t sure if Jen will like what she tells her
See, Seeta explains to the camera that Jen is from a culture that (at least in theory) values equality. So the idea of the women of the household waking up at 4am to prepare tea and stuff for the men is going to be difficult to swallow. Jen is surprisingly receptive to what she considers to be a fun cultural experience, however. She’s more into the clothing than the gendered servitude.
Kris Foster and Jeymi Noguera
These two lovebirds go furniture shopping. Though Jeymi has her eye on some cute decorations, Kris is more focused upon key furniture. Right now, their love nest ironically looks like it could appear on Male-Living-Spaces because it is so barren. They need to get things like night stands and seating. Later, they can get other decorations.
But Kris has some news
Her mother reached out, because court papers arrived for her. She may need to testify in an important trial. Why? Because she is the victim. An unidentified person broke into her garage months ago and stole her late father’s motorcycle. The motorcycle’s value was an estimated $50,000, she explains. So she might have to fly back for a few days.
Timing is everything
Unfortunately, her flight home may be coincide with their wedding date. That is less than ideal, and dredges up old feelings of insecurity for Jeymi.
This is hard to hear
It’s not just the horror of having to possibly move your wedding date with less than a week’s notice. Previously, Kris had planned to fly out and see Jeymi, only to get cold feet and ghost her for a few weeks. Kris is here now, yes, but Jeymi is uncomfortable with the idea of her leaving so soon.
Later, another problem arises
Kris experiences chronic pain as a result of two car crashes. Something, perhaps the new environment or just the after effects of her plane ride, is making her pain much worse.
Jeymi is worried about her
The two have to cancel little outings as Kris’ pain continues to grow worse. If you’ve known someone with chronic pain, you likely understand just how much they miss out on because their body subjects them to untold agony. And you likely also know that sometimes loved ones, even partners, resent or even mistreat them over their suffering. It’s awful. Fortunately, thus far, Jeymi is doing nothing of the sort.
Who makes house calls?
Apparently, some medical professionals still do this, and you don’t even have to be rich. He gives Kris a prescription that he hopes will help, but warns her that this will get worse until she has her neck surgery. Yes, it will have a lengthy and complex recovery period, but the alternative could be a lifetime of pain.
Nicole Sherbiny and Mahmoud Elsherbiny
In Egypt, Nicole is still struggling to adapt to life in Mahmoud’s family home. Sometimes, it’s little things, like manually lighting a gas stove. Most Americans only have to do this if the power is out for an extended period, because American gas ranges are self-lighting. (Also, fewer people are getting gas stoves, as research has shown chronic ill effects that they have upon members of households)
They have big plans today
Apparently, Nicole and Mahmoud want to start a business. The idea is making fashionable, “modest” clothing. Nicole has struggled to find clothes that meet Mahmoud’s rigid demands but also her aesthetic tastes. So their idea is creating a company that designs and makes just that.
But Mahmoud can’t leave well enough alone
Instead of looking forward to their upcoming visit, Mahmoud starts a fight by asking Nicole if she will cover her hair. She reminds him that, as he knows, the answer is “no.”
DUDE
Mahmoud then basically tells her that he’ll wear her down eventually and get her into a hijab. That’s insulting, both to Nicole and to Muslims who do choose to wear the hijab.
Relatedly
They have talked about Nicole’s wardrobe before. At times, Mahmoud seems to fixate on nothing else. But he is now saying that it was never okay for Nicole to wear “short” sleeves (as in, baring part of her forearms) even while she was in America. Nicole says that he had okayed this, but he says otherwise.
Mahmoud swears and storms off
After a few moments, Nicole — frustrated by how Mahmoud prevents them from resolving anything when he walks off — follows him.
It is not a productive conversation
With Nicole saying “yes” and Mahmoud saying “no,” they don’t get anywhere — they only get angry.
“I think we not can be together,” Mahmoud says
That may be more words than “I’m done!” but it seems to mean the same thing. And even if Mahmoud didn’t intend for it to be a breakup, that is what it feels like. To Nicole, Mahmoud storming off like this means that he is preventing them from ever resolving any issues. It only guarantees more fights in the future.
So, Nicole slowly packs her things
It’s unclear if she’s actually planning to leave or if she’s just showing Mahmoud how serious she is. She explains to the camera that it feels like Mahmoud loves this idea of having a “wife” more than he actually loves her.
Meanwhile, Mahmoud thinks that she’s asking for too much
Nicole is actually asking for fairly little, but for Mahmoud, her personal autonomy — not covering her hair, not praying as regularly as he does despite converting to Islam — is a contentious issue.
Later, they talk
He tells her that he worries that she doesn’t love him anymore. That is a pretty bold accusation coming from the guy who keeps starting fights. Or is it why he does it? He doesn’t feel like the kind of guy who would stir up trouble just to test his wife.
Nicole gave up her home and moved across the planet for Mahmoud
So she feels offended by his accusation. However, this conversation doesn’t really go anywhere, either. Nicole tells him that he told her to go, so she’s packing to do just that. Mahmoud doesn’t want her to go, but he’s the one who said that they couldn’t work out together. So Nicole wants to know why he said that. Mahmoud says that he’s tired of fighting, but still doesn’t work to resolve things. Nicole tells him that she’s not going to stay with an “asshole,” and that is where the episode ends.