Amber Portwood sure has come a long way, huh?
If you look at footage from the early seasons of Teen Mom and compare them to the latest episodes, she almost doesn’t seem to be the same person.
But there is one thing that the Amber of then and the Amber of now share …
And that is the ability to have a breakdown at any given moment over absolutely anything.
For the past few days, she’s been struggling with some issues pertaining to being a reality star — which, you know, is kind of fair.
We just didn’t know she was feeling this low about it.
Oh, Amber …
If you’ve kept up with Teen Mom over the years, then you know that Amber has had more than her fair share of struggles.
What Started It All
She got pregnant as a teenager, for example — that wasn’t easy.
A Bad Combination
She definitely wasn’t mature enough to have a kid, and at the time, neither was Gary Shirley. And they certainly weren’t mature enough to be in a serious relationship.
Yikes
He antagonized her for fun, she actually physically abused him more than once … it was all very, very bad.
Also This
Oh, and did we mention that Amber had a very serious drug problem throughout all of this?
What a Mess
Eventually Amber went to prison for three counts of domestic violence — all felonies — and Gary met Kristina, the woman who is now his wife.
Ugh
Then, soon after she came home, she got with Matt Baier, and we won’t even go into what a struggle that must have been.
Awww
These days, Amber is in a seemingly stable relationship with Andrew Glennon, and they share a six-month-old son, precious little James.
Looking Good
It looks like she’s really calmed down after having her second child, doesn’t it?
… Yay?
She hasn’t gotten into any fights lately, and she hasn’t had any of those uncomfortable meltdowns she used to have as recently as a year ago.
Actually …
Well, until this week, that is.
Going Off
See, for the past couple of days, Amber has been having sort of a hard time.
Wow
She’s been ranting over on Twitter, and she began her rant on Monday afternoon with a hearty “F-ck all of you for real.”
Sending Love!
“If you don’t have love for me then it’s mutual!!! Point blank. If you do have love for me then it’s mutual!!!” she added, along with one of her favorite hashtags, “send love not hate.”
There It Is
A little later, she wrote “I can’t do this anymore,” and followed that up with “I have to quit this show.”
The Heartache
“The heartache this show has put me through is too much to bear anymore,” she explained. “If I will not be shown then there’s nothing more to do. My name will not get smeared anymore.”
Resting Easy
“I hope everyone is resting easy with the money they’ve made off of heartache and pain that I’ve endured.”
Amber, No
And then last night, she got upset again … but like, REALLY upset.
Dang
“You guys are the reason people commit suicide,” she tweeted. “Words hurt and I’m such a sweet person and those parts are never really shown.”
So Sad
“I’ve only wanted to help children and teenagers not go through what I did including my daughter.”
Not Cool
Of course, when someone says that something that’s happening to them is “the reason people commit suicide,” that’s kind of a threat, right?
REALLY Not Cool
It’s pretty much saying “I could kill myself because of the way I’m being treated,” and that’s obviously a problem.
The Truth Comes Out
Amber then revealed more about the issues she’s having, saying that the people who watch Teen Mom “react to what they see,” and she “can’t necessarily just blame them.”
Bad Edit, Huh?
“There’s higher people who chose to make sure I’m never truly heard for there own benefit. I’m to good for that sh-t,” she added.
And One More!
She also tweeted “When people you trust with your life keep stabbing you in the back then it’s time for change because they will never change.”
Tragic
So what this all boils down to is that Amber is bringing up the topic of suicide because she’s not happy with how MTV has been portraying her on the show.
Come On, Girl
This would be a problem anyway, but it’s extra concerning because she’s attempted suicide at least twice in the past.
Honey …
In 2011, she was rushed to the hospital after Gary called an ambulance — she’d told him she was going to hang herself, and she was found semi-conscious with a rope around her neck.
Heartbreaking
Sometime after that, she tried to kill herself a second time — as she revealed in an interview while in prison, she “took 30 Suboxone within three days.”
Too Much
“The depression took over,” she said. “I’d just take four to five at a time underneath my tongue, and nod out. I had more than addiction problems. I had, you know, mental problems, too.”
We Believe in You, Amber!
Here’s hoping that this time around, she’s able to get help if she’s truly thinking that suicide could be a way to deal with all of this, and that if Teen Mom is really this painful for her, she really does quit.
Pull Through!
As much as we love the show, it sincerely is just not worth it.