Despite what you just read in that headline, Teen Mom OG star Amber Portwood is actually a pretty bad person.
She’s narcissistic and egotistical; she’s a negligent parent who often behaves violently toward her partners.
Yes, partners plural.
As of right now, Portwood is facing domestic violence charges after allegedly assaulting boyfriend Andrew Glennon.
She’s been quiet as her court case looms, but now she’s broken her silence in order to say she’s not a bad person.
Actions speak louder than words, of course. We’ll believe that claim when we see some evidence to support it!
Check out Amber’s latest nonsensical ramblings below and see if this changes anything about your view of her:
The Happy Couple
Amber stands accused of savagely assaulting Andrew Glennon while he was holding the couple’s 1-year-old son, James. That’s really, really bad.
Scary Stuff
Andrew claims that Amber threw a shoe at his head, ran after him with a machete, and attempted to break down the after he locked himself in a bedroom with James. (Yes, a machete.)
Stable Household
When Glennon threatened to call the cops, Amber ate a handful of Klonopin pills, allegedly threatening to end her own life. Thankfully, she thought better of this plan, and she regurgitated the pills when he actually dialed 911.
Hard Times
These days, things are looking pretty rough for the OG. That’s putting it mildly, but believe it or not, she may have found a new rock bottom.
Another One Gone
Amber has lost custody of James, who currently resides with Andrew. Fans who have been following her for the last decade on MTV and beyond know all too well that this is a sad case of deja vu happening all over again.
Two-For-Two
If you’re keeping score at home, Amber has now lost custody of two of both of her children, and they each reside with spouses she (allegedly) assaulted. Her daughter Leah, with Gary Shirley, has been living predominantly with him throughout various stages of her life due to Amber’s legal and substance abuse issues.
Arrested Development
But despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Amber swears she’s a good person and a good mom. A judge and jury may have a lot to say about that, but that’s a battle for another time. This one is for the court of public opinion. She’s pleading her case to anyone willing to listen on Instagram. Please believe her!
Dog Days
For reasons unknown, Portwood posted this weird video of her dog, along with a lengthy caption, in which she defends herself … which is pretty much all she does these days.
The Pity Party
“Every morning this beautiful soul is right by my side to make me feel comfortable when I’m a bit down … remember who I am not what you hear,†she told no one in particular. Oops, we mean, told her fans.
How Selfless (Sarcasm)
“Still sending all my love and prayers to everyone in need and I won’t stop helping even when I’m going through pain,” Portwood continued, apparently without irony.
Taking Precautions
Amber disabled comments on the Instagram post, which is probably for the best. After all, fans have heard all this before, and would be weighing in with a lot of things (rudely or not) that she doesn’t want to hear.
“Mmmyeah We’re Not Buying It …”
… said a lot of people. Her arguments are nothing new, and while we wish her the vest, the troubled Indiana native has yet to learn that her actions speak louder than her words.
A Different Tactic
Andrew Glennon, meanwhile, has also been sharing his side of the story, relaying how he felt and how he’s responded to what happened that night, but with one important difference …
Engaging With the Haters
Glennon has decided NOT to disable comments on his social media updates, which means he’s been getting into it with fans on a daily basis.
Hurricane Andrew
When you mix it up with the peanut gallery on the socials, well, you’re asking for some spirited back-and-forth debates. Case in point: One follower recently accused Andrew of making the whole thing up just to create drama. As you might have expected, Glennon’s response was less than cordial.
Paging Mr. Bigglesworth!
“There isn’t a sinister scheme behind everything in life, Dr. Evil. Sometimes life just does what life does and HAPPENS,†he explained, referencing Mike Myers’ iconic comedic villain from the Austin Powers series.
A Vision For the Future
“I saw us in a mansion and my vineyard producing … and with brothers and sisters for James,” Andrew added, detailing the future he once envisioned with Amber Portwood (and apparently a lot of wine).
Baier Burn
Andrew concluded his rant by taking a shot at Amber’s most recent ex, a man who needs no introduction for card-carrying members of Teen Mom Nation. “I plan for the best and to help those I love, not to trick, entrap or deceive. You’re thinking of Matt Baier,” he wrote.
Speaking of Exes …
Matt Baier has come to her defense, guardedly, since the abuse story broke, saying he’s never witnessed her exhibit that kind of behavior (despite their iconic arguments). As for Gary Shirley, Amber received no such blowback from her other baby daddy, who appears to be in her corner, despite also being one of her abuse victims.
Quite a Plug …
… for the show. And his ex, we think. “All I could ask is for is @AmberLPortwood to be happy & healthy,” Shirley tweeted recently. “She has all of my support when #TeenMomOG continues this Monday with a new episode at 9/8c on @MTV! #WATCH #WATCH #Watch!!!!!”
Bad Take
Gary has proven himself to be a standup dude in recent years, and we certainly understand not wanting to go in hard at his ex when she’s at her lowest point … but many fans think he’s going to end up on the wrong side of history with this one.