90 Day Fiance: The Other Way continues with Season 2, Episode 18.
In this episode, a lot of couples were suffering after peer pressure reared its ugly head.
Ariela reversed course on her major decision last week, which will have lifelong consequences for her son … but may not save her relationship.
Deavan is worried that Jihoon is cheating on her … and, by her own “creative” definition of the word, she’s right.
Sumit readies himself for divorce court, but that’s not the only obstacle in the way of him marrying Jenny.
Melyza and Tim prepare for Tim’s mom and aunt to visit … but Melyza has history with his mom that makes her dread this.
Kenneth and Armando are denied their marriage license, even though Mexico has had marriage equality since 2015.
And things have gotten worse for Yazan with his family, which unfortunately drives him to lash out at Brittany right before she returns home.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
After days of dismissing Ariela’s concerns, Biniyam is now angry and upset that Ariela intervened instead of allowing the doctors to circumcise their newborn son, Aviel Biniyam Shibre. As Ari explained last episode, her concerns are about his bodily autonomy and whether he will grow up to resent that she allowed him to undergo irreversible cosmetic surgery on his genitals.
Ariela does not want to hear it
She is having a bad day and, lest we forget, still just a week out from her C-section. This is major surgery and she is straight-up not having a good time.
This time, Biniyam listens
He agrees that they can go home … but this isn’t something that he’s willing to let go.
Then, Ariela caves
Remember all of those reasons that she listed last time — her son’s feelings, his bodily autonomy, his human rights? Apparently social pressure from Biniyam and from members of her own family were enough to overpower that which … does not paint Ariela in a good light. She’s seen here making an appointment for Avi’s circumcision.
Aviel is so cute!
Ariela admits that she’ll never forgive herself for this, which … yeah, that sounds about right. She might get lucky, and her kid will grow up and forgive her, but that’s a weird game of chance to play with your child’s happiness.
Ari is also noticing more about Biniyam
Biniyam is a soft-spoken, sweet guy … but she does point out that he has real control issues. Ariela, lest we forget, has already come to Ethiopia to live for an extended period of time. She gave birth in Ethiopia. She was subjected to an animal sacrifice as a “welcome home gift.” It’s okay to dislike Ari, but pretending that she has not compromised is a little silly. She’d like to see some of that from Biniyam instead of just insisting that they do things “his way” again and again and again.
Biniyam still does not understand
Either Ariela has not done a very good job of explaining this to Biniyam or he has refused to listen. Both of these seem very realistic, so it could be that both have happened together.
This was AWFUL
Listening to Avi scream was an agonizing experience, though of course his pain was greater.. And this temporary misery — traumatic though it may be — is of course not even the primary concern behind the circumcision when compared with the long-term consequences of an irreversible cosmetic surgery. A lot of fans have whined about how Ari cries a lot, but these tears on her part are appropriate.
Biniyam knows that things aren’t great
He seems either unable or unwilling to understand why Ariela is unhappy with him, but nonetheless acknowledges the state of things.
Ariela has two main problems
First, she has a big issue with how little empathy Biniyam is displaying for their son. “Be strong” and other toxic masculinity BS isn’t going to cut it with parenting. She also would like to see him compromise.
Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee
The two of them go to a park where people are enjoying time in tents. This is different from how people in the US enjoy parks, but honestly seems way more comfortable and enjoyable. Meanwhile, Deavan comments that in the US, seeing a park full of tents is a sign that you can score free meth. We know that she’s from Utah and thus probably not very aware of how drugs work, but … VERY few people just give them out for free.
This is an introduction
Deavan is introduced to some of Jihoon’s old school friends, whom she has never met before.
They’re amazed
Jihoon is a married father of two? They have always known him to be “kinda childish” and you can tell how awkwardly they are avoiding throwing their friend under the bus to the cameras.
Deavan has a concern
We don’t know how much prompting this took from production, but while Jihoon goes off to change Taeyang’s diaper, Deavan tells his friends that she has a concern. See Jihoon’s phone has (gasp!) photos of naked women on it.
“Doesn’t everyone look at that?”
Jihoon’s friends speaking common sense to Deavan, remind her that it’s extremely normal for humans to look at naked humans, do nothing to deter her worries.
So she confronts him
Deavan is concerned that, because the photos include a number of selfies, that girls may have been sending these to him.
Nope
Deavan may not be aware, but many women (and men, and nonbinary folks) take selfies and post them online. This is common for sex workers but also for bloggers who just want to flaunt their bodies without monetizing them.
Jihoon awkwardly explains
He says that, since he and Deavan do not have sex that often, he often finds himself taking care of his needs on his own.
Deavan WHAT?!
Deavan considers this — masturbating to the thought of any woman other than his wife — to be “cheating.” On the one hand, anyone can set any boundary that they like because they are welcome to break up any time that they like. On the other hand … there’s no such thing as thought crimes. If he were swapping nudes with or otherwise sexting women, yes, that’s cheating. Jackin’ it to photos of random women is, though not universal, extremely normal married behavior for a faithful spouse. Again, Deavan can demand that he stop and it does not have to be reasonable, and Jihoon is free to either stop or break up.
Jenny Slatten and Sumit Singh
Sumit is preparing for court. Previously, his in-laws dropped the allegations that Sumit says that they were trying to use to extort more money from him, but he has had bad experiences with his wife’s family so he worries that they are plotting something new.
Also, he has to pay up
His father — who forced him into this arranged marriage in the first place — has crowdfunded the remaining $10,000 that Sumit has to pay, but Sumit will have to pay him back.
He went to court
Sumit’s friend, Rohit, was there to support him. The cameras were not, as they were not permitted.
GOOD NEWS
Sumit calls Jenny so that she finds out at the same time as production does — he is now divorced!!! For real!!!
Sumit celebrates with Rohit and with his dad, Anil
Finally, it’s over! Anil has definitely regretting forcing his son into a life of misery with a woman whom he does not love.
Sumit has to pay his dad back
They both acknowledge that $10,000 is a lot of money to owe.
The good news …
For some time, Sumit has only been working part time in order to stay at home with Jenny. They live in a rough area and Jenny does not know anyone there or the language, so he has spent as much time at home with her as possible. Now, he is going to focus on work.
But …
Anil still warns that they will legally stop him from marrying Jenny, because she can’t give him children, which apparently matters more to them than their son’s happiness. Ridiculous.
Sumit asks Rohit for a job
Rohit, wanting to help his friend and citing Sumit’s willingness to learn new skills, says that he will have an opening at his place of work in a month or two. Unfortunately, he can only pay him $100 a week. That is a very low wage in India — potentially livable in ways that it is not in the US, but still very low. Sumit will go for the job … but knows that he will have to work more than one job in order to stay afloat.
Tim Clarkson and Melyza Zeta
The two of them are preparing a guest room, because soon they will have company. Tim’s mom, Robin, and his aunt, Carmen, will be visiting from the US.
Melyza wants it to be a good visit
That said, she has some real history with Tim’s mom that makes her leery of how this visit will go.
It’s an awkward time
Tim and Melyza are still grappling with Tim’s hurt feelings over Melyza having dated while the two of them are not together. This isn’t a cheating incident like Tim’s, but he has hurt feelings and it could come up around his mom.
And that’s not her business
Melyza points out that it’s one thing for Tim to take some time to process Melyza having dated someone else, it’s another for his mom to hear about it.
But there’s more
Robin does not like Melyza. Once, Melyza and Tim had a heated argument and Tim’s mom threatened to call the police on Melyza, which is a very serious threat — especially for someone who is in the US on a visa, and also for someone whose son is doing the same things as the person she was threatening — so Melyza has never looked at her the same way since.
Kenneth Niedermeier and Armando Rubio
In the US, the process to get a marriage license is pretty simple. That’s the case in Mexico, too. But, as a same-sex couple, Armando and Kenny have to write up a letter — a little like a cover letter over your resume. It’s just an extra, needless hurdle imposed upon them because someone wanted to and had the power to.
Armando is anxious
He has read internet horror stories about couples being refused a marriage license. Now, Mexico has had marriage equality on a national level since 2015 — about as long as the US — and in some parts of Mexico, since years before that. But that doesn’t mean that it’s all smooth sailing.
Kenneth is optimistic
He reminds Armando that they’re simply too cute to be denied.
Unfortunately …
Their registrar clearly regrets being the bearer of bad news, but she has to give them a “no.”
Armando is confused
The registrar explains that the local law does not allow for same-sex marriage, but that the national law and the Constitution do.
Fortunately, she’s very helpful
Her hands may be tied, but she basically reenacts that scene from The Incredibles when Mr. Incredible tells that woman how to circumvent the insurance company’s red tape in order to get what she needs. This time, she’s telling them to go and file a complaint with the human rights commission.
Armando is confident that it will work
They are grateful that the registrar was, though powerless, on their side, but they worry about how many battles they will need to fight. Will they have to deal with this again when choosing a wedding venue? Generally, straight couples do not have to face this particular problem over their sexual orientations because — unless they belong to another marginalized group — no one is trying to ruin their lives just for existing.
Brittany Banks and Yazan Abo Horira
Yazan is in Jordan, where he laments that his family situation has gotten WORSE. Worse than being fired and made homeless by his father.
He meets up with his younger brother.
Yazan and Obaida hug in a tearful embrace.
Obaida shares the family’s “concerns”
He notes that Brittany continues to post Instagram photos, and Yazan correctly notes that, yeah, she’s a person, that’s how instagram works. Yazan has his flaws — the way that he has spoken to Brittany on multiple occassions is inexcusable — but when it comes to his core beliefs about women’s rights, he seems like a good guy. He doesn’t always act like it, though.
Obaida meets with their dad
He notes that it’s just eating at him, because he’s very concerned about the idle gossip of the extended family and of neighbors. He has heard wild rumors of Brittany acting in porn. One, there’s nothing wrong with that. Two, folks, if Brittany were in porn, we here at THG would have reported on it.
“Look at this!” (lol)
He holds up a perfectly fine, innocuous photo of Brittany wearing a bikini on Instagram as if it’s some sort of damning evidence of … something. Anyway, this image should be memed immediately.
“This is a big deal for us”
Yazan’s dad continues to gripe in a very “what will the neighbors think” sort of way. As we have noted, there are Instagram influencers and bikini-wearers in Jordan, so this is Yazan’s family’s conservative views causing problems where there are none. It’s cowardice, but he’s not budging.
He threatens Yazan
Yazan’s father then threatens, to Obaida, that his anger will not go away if Yazan stays with Brittany. It’s important to note that translators have pointed out what TLC has not — that this expression is similar to the one in the US, where English speakers say “dang, I’m late for dinner; my mom’s gonna kill me.” Nonetheless, his anger is obvious.
Obaida faithfully relays this to Yazan
He tells him everything, that people are saying that he and Brittany are already secretly married, that they’re having sex (Brittany, noting that Yazan could be in danger if he were known to have had sex, has claimed to the camera that he is a “virgin,” though we in the US are meant to read between the lines), etc.
Yazan is not having a good time
He has had to find a new home and a new job. While common sense tells most of us that he would be better off simply going no-contact with his family after this, that is easier said than done. And Yazan has a great deal of love for some members of his family.
He’s not going to break up with Brittany
Yazan and Brittany are in love, or they wouldn’t have taken things this far. He’s going to take things even further.
Meanwhile, in Florida
Brittany is saying goodbye to Max, the family dog, and to her dad, Gregory, as she packs for Jordan.
He has some worries
Gregory has noticed some real red flags in his daughter’s relationship, though she does not appear to have shared everything with him. He wants to make sure that she’s making the right decision.
Brittany has a plan
Now divorced, she is going to have her friend meet her in Jordan the day after she returns to help her get a feel for things. Then and only then will she (possibly) bring her family over for a wedding.
En route, Yazan blows up her phone
Yazan has bought a new car … and gotten into an accident, which he somehow blames on her???
He tries to guilt her
He sends her an angry voice message and texts and photos, all lashing out at her over her insistence that, after she has so far paid for everything, he show some commitment by supporting them. It’s important to note that she is not aware of everything that he is going through right now. She calls him “selfish.”
They have an angry phone call
“I’m really, really tired of it,” Brittany confesses to the camera. “It’s becoming clear to me that Yazan may never change … I’m not getting on that flight.”