90 Day Fiance The Other Way: Elicia BLASTS Jihoon Lee!

Deavan Clegg and Jihoon Lee

Last week, at the very end, Jihoon sat down Drascilla after a fun but busy day, and, being barely three years old and full of much more energy than impulse control, she darted forward in excitement. She could have ended up in traffic. Ultimately, her grandmother Elicia scooped her up.

Deavan was mad

Not at Drascilla (who is a child; zipping around is normal and you just talk to them about why it’s unsafe) but, as Deavan explained to producers, at Jihoon, who let go of Drascilla and then, when they were chasing after Drascilla, seemed to have skewed priorities.

Jihoon was upset that she yelled

To the point of slowing down his pursuit of Drascilla to tell her to not yell at him. Folks, I personally would like to see non-emergency yelling made illegal (not jailable, just illegal), but even I thought that this was a situation where yelling was warranted.

Jihoon goes off to cope

South Koreans smoke cigarettes at a rate that is several times that of Americans, which is obviously very unfortunate. Jihoon uses it to cope with stress, which is an unhealthy coping mechanism AND, obviously, bad for him. He should either quit or he and Angela Deem could have their own stinky spinoff as they share cigarettes that she had stashed in her bra.

Elicia is downright furious

Honestly, we know that she was upset, but that is not appropriate to say around a 3-year-old. You talk to someone Drascilla’s age calmly about why running off is dangerous, explain that you still love them, and later remind them about how scary it was when they ran off so they need to be sure to hold your hand so you won’t get worried. You don’t hold the child by yelling about their mortal danger once the crisis has passed.

It was a shock to Jihoon

He and his mom initially seemed more taken aback by how loud Deavan and Elicia were than by anything else.

But …

The thing is that Jihoon needs to be responsible as a parent. Unlike Deavan, he is very new to this. Many of us with extensive childcare experience may take for granted that we understand the dangers to watch out for. Jihoon does not. He’s still learning.

He and Deavan cry about it

Some things are difficult to translate, but Deavan explains why she was in such a state of distress. Drascilla was okay this time, but this makes her worry that Jihoon is not prepared for the responsibilities of being a father.

Jihoon takes responsibility

That’s the first step towards becoming a responsible person.

But that wasn’t enough

Later, Elicia lectures Jihoon — dramatically and angrily — putting the fear of Clegg into him over the importance of not letting your child slip away. This was a very dramatic moment … and msot fans agree, a bit much.

But Jihoon didn’t disagree with his mother in law

He says that she was right, that it was his fault. Again, that is part of learning and growing and improving. Next week, it looks like it will be Deavan’s turn to disappoint her MIL.

Kenneth Niedermeier and Armando Rubio

Fresh after their engagement, Kenneth and Armando go to dinner with a few others — they sit down with Kenneth’s daughters (the two who could make it) and two of Armando’s friends, an older couple who were supportive of him after he came out.

Armando CANNOT stop smiling!!!

He is SO happy. He also just kissed Kenneth in public for the very first time, which was a great milestone for them but also a little nerve-wracking for Armando, after the fact.

Armando explains

He has real concerns about being called slurs or even facing violence in retaliation for their relationship. And he explains that he is proud of his engagement to Kenneth, but delicately expresses that he wants his parents to meet Kenneth BEFORE they find out that they are engaged. Baby steps.

Kenneth understands

He loves Armando. He is committed to helping raise Hannah. Of course he wants Armando to live as his authentic self, to have a “love wins” attitude, but he also gets that he’s put Armando in a tough spot. Kenneth was there himself, but it was decades ago.

Jenny Slatten and Sumit

They are painting Sumit’s mostly empty, kind of terrible apartment. Sumit went to the paint store and brought paint … sort of. As Sumit explains, he has to mix the coloring into the paint himself. He gets a literal stick from outside to stir the paint. Then, when that doesn’t do the job well, he uses his hand. Jenny cannot relate.

They get to painting

Sumit announces that his parents are ready to talk, according to his brother.

That’s not necessarily good news

At first, Jenny is worried that his parents will be coming there. That’s not the case. Then, her worry is that they might prevent Sumit from leaving their home in order to keep them apart.

Sumit HOPES not

He knows that nothing is guaranteed, but he hopes that they are not planning to kidnap their adult son.

Jenny has some trauma in this regard

Though she met Sumit’s parents many years ago, back before Sumit was married, her last encounter with his family was when they showed up to confront Sumit. She admits that she has some trauma in that regard.

Sumit hopes that his parents love him enough to give their blessing

He is hoping that his parents will realize that they can’t stop him from being with Jenny, and will love him enough and care about his happiness enough to endorse him marrying her.

For now …

The two step back and admire the first coat of paint on their wall. They are way too broke to hire painters, but we hope that they both know that multiple layers will be needed. Also, an undercoat of paint is usually a good idea.

Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre

Biniyam meets up with three of his siblings who want to speak with him about his relationship.

They want to find out if history will repeat itself

Biniyam was married before. They are nervous if the same problems will arise again. For example, is Ariela jealous over Biniyam’s dancing with his ex? The answer is yes, but so far it’s not really a relationship problem. So far.

He gets the vibe

His family does not trust Ariela. He thinks that they think that Biniyam is once again setting himself up for disappointment.

He’s right about that

They say, to the camera, that they would prefer that Biniyam be with an Ethiopian woman.

They ask if Ariela is really embracing the culture

These questions of culture and faith are an excellent prelude to the rest of Biniyam’s story this episode.

Biniyam wants his son baptized

That is obviously a divisive topic. Those of us with very different beliefs may feel that a baptism is a harmless milestone that is important to others, or we might feel that it is making promises on behalf of a baby that violate’s one’s child’s autonomy, and that true faith — or a soul itself — cannot be pledged by another party, but has to be a personal belief. Ariela is Jewish, but knows that Biniyam thinks that it is important for their child to be baptized in Orthodox Christianity.

So …

Today is a learning opportunity, as Biniyam and Ariela go to church. Biniyam puts Ariela in a covering, one common in Orthodox Christianity.

The church really stands out

It is interesting to watch them walk past walls that are in a state of disrepair and what looks like extreme poverty only to approach a church that wouldn’t be out of place anywhere in the US.

Ariela is a fish out of water

Not only is this not her faith nor her house of worship, but she does not speak the language, so Biniyam and the priest speak and she just listens without understanding.

Biniyam wants to make sure that it will work out

He wants his son baptized, which Ariela has agreed to because it’s really important to Biniyam. She is the child of an interfaith marriage herself.

Say WHAT now??

The priest doesn’t just say “both parents must be Christians for their child to do this,” but instead suggests that non-Christian lactation is the real problem. Maybe it’s a cultural expression that is not translating? Anyway, when Biniyam explains that to Ariela, she manages to keep a straight face, which is genuinely impressive.

The bottom line is

Ariela would also have to undergo a baptism into Orthodox Christianity in order for their child to be. That is not something that Ariela is okay with. She already has a religion.

This REALLY matters to Biniyam

It’s sometimes easy for those of us with different beliefs to forget, but for some Christians, rituals like baptisms aren’t just traditions and cultural milestones, but essentially life-or-death decisions within their belief systems. We do not have to share Biniyam’s beliefs or agree with the baptism of children in order to respect Biniyam’s sincerely held beliefs.

Ariela is not down to convert

Biniyam would like for her to, and wants this for their son, but he also stresses that he does not want for them to have religious conflict, or to fight over religion.

But …

This cultural conflict, one that is frankly hard for us to believe that they hadn’t already addressed and discussed in full months ago, is reminding Ariela that she has real second thoughts about … everything. More of that will come to play in next week’s episode.

Brittany Banks and Yazan Abo Horira

Brittany dresses up in more traditional garb, including a hijab, to meet Yazan’s parents … again. Jordan would absolutely allow her to wear a bikini in many places, but Yazan’s parents are much more conservative and traditional.

Yazan is SO nervous

He tries to act confident to Brittany that meeting up with his parents will go differently this time, but he is a ball of anxiety.

Yazan’s uncle is there to help

As Yazan and Brittany had previously asked him to do, he is there to intercede with his parents and reason with them.

Yazan’s dad is still mad

He thinks that if Yazan likes Brittany, he should simply marry her immediately. The idea of “dating” is not acceptable to the family’s conservative views.

Yazan’s mom agrees

She does not want her face shown on camera due to cultural beliefs, but she doesn’t mind her voice playing, saying that their relationship is bad unless it is a real, legal mearriage.

Yazan speaks up

He explains how he had assured Brittany that he wouldn’t rush her into anything, that he would take time to explain their customs and traditions and what it means to be Muslim before she decided on anything.

Uncle Ibrahim chimes in

He points out that it often happens in their society that two people get married right away, as Yazan’s father wants, and then realize that they don’t like each other so they separate. Is that what he wants for his son? Or would he prefer to let them have a little time to make sure that this is what they want before they make the lifelong commitment of marriage.

When is Brittany’s dad coming?

Brittany’s father is allegedly coming the next month at some point. Ibrahim encourages Yazan’s parents to give them until then for Brittany to decide if she wants to be Yazan’s wife with all of the cultural trappings that go with it … or if she wants to go back home with her father.

IT WORKED

Yazan’s father agrees to the extremely reasonable compromise. But only Brittany knows that she has been using her father as an excuse, that she is still legally married to her ex and is trying to buy time until that divorce goes through. Oh boy.

Ariela struggles with her choices, Deavan struggles with her mother-in-law, and Armando and Kenneth have their first brush with Armando’s greatest fear about living openly and honestly as a newly engaged couple, and it could spell real danger for them.