Kids are the best. We all know this to be true.
Let’s face it, though: Kids are also the worst.
Yes, of course (almost) all parents will say that becoming a mother or a father is worthwhile. It’s the most rewarding role of one’s life and all that.
But it can also drive you temporarily insane, for just some of the reasons listed below…
They Hog the Bathroom
And God knows what they do in there.
They Insist on Dressing Themselves
And they just don’t understand that you can’t wear a black belt with brown shoes.
They’re Adorable…
… but they also fart all the time.
They Vomit
A lot.
They Pee on Themselves
And, on many occasions, on you as well.
They Don’t Comprehend the Concept of Personal Space
You have a crib of your own, kid.
They Like Spider-Man More Than You
And they’ll curse you out to prove it.
They Get Sick ALL the Time
Hmmm… we wonder why.
They Bite
You. Their siblings. Even themselves sometimes.
They Love Mud
And hate baths. (Of course.)
They Don’t Know How to Spell
And the results are often awkward.
This is Often Their Favorite Position
Especially when you’re in the supermarket.
They Make It Difficult to Travel
VERY difficult at times.
Even When They Agree to Clean Up…
… they never do it right.
They’ll Steal Your Booze
And just wait until they’re teenagers!
They Have No Respect for Your Workplace
Also, your workplace becomes your bed.
They’ll Do This Sometimes
And you won’t know whether to be angry or impressed.
They Get Into Everything
And we mean EVERYthing.
They Like to Redecorate
And then make Chucky faces, in some cases.
They Have High Expectations
And think money grows on trees.
Their Nails Insist on Growing
And then you’re faced with this harrowing experience.
They Make It Impossible to Eat Breakfast
Or any meal, to be honest.
They Turn Their Faces Into Art Projects
Modern art projects, we should say.
They Get Really Into Poop
For, like, far too many years.