ROASTED! Check out the best burns and one-liners from the Justin Bieber Roast on Comedy Central.
Justin Bieber Roast: Who Said What?
ROASTED! Read on to relive the best very burns, disses, one-liners and insults from the Justin Bieber Roast on Comedy Central.
Kevin Hart
Bieber has 10 million fans – most are in middle schools, or standing at least 500 feet away from one.
Ludacris
You act so much like a pussy, Ellen tried to eat you.
Will Ferrell (as Ron Burgundy)
I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather.
Hannibal Buress
Justin, I don’t like your music. I think it’s bad, man. I hate your music. I hate your music more than Bill Cosby hates my comedy.
Shaquille O’Neal
You have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.
Natasha Legerro
Justin’s fan are called beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.
Chris D’Elia
You literally are a guy who has it all, except respect, love, good parents, and a Grammy.
Martha Stewart
Let’s get to the reason I’m here: to give Justin some tips for when he inevitably ends up in prison… The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.
Jeffrey Ross
Seth Rogen thinks you’re a conceited piece of sh-t… and he hangs out with James Franco.
Jeffrey Ross on Selena Gomez Banging Bieber
It proves “Mexicans will do the disgusting jobs Americans just won’t do.”
Ludacris Again
Justin wants to be black so bad he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.
Pete Davidson
My castmate on SNL, Kate McKinnon, does a perfect impression of Justin. Right down to the clit.
Shaq on Kevin Hart
Kevin is the only celebrity with a star on the yellow brick road.
Kevin Hart Again
Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here.
Natasha Leggero on Hart
Kevin, you look like someone put 50 Cent in the dryer.
Pete Davidson on Martha Stewart
Martha is so old, her first period was the Renaissance.
Martha Stewart Slam!
I’ve come up with a douche that no one has ever heard of, you know, like Chris D’Elia.
Chris D’Elia Again
Those Calvin Klein billboards you were made are terrible. And I was in Whitney.
Natasha Leggero on Hart… Again
Kevin, you are everywhere. He is going to be on the next season of Game of Thrones. He’s going to play Peter Dinklage’s shadow.
Jeffrey Ross on Stewart
Martha Stewart, I want to f-ck you so bad. I bet your pubic hair is fifty shades of gray.
Shaq on Justin’s Tattoo:
Justin got a tattoo of Jesus on his calf. Why you gotta bring Jesus into your mess? That man has suffered enough.
Chris D’Elia on Justin’s Fashion
For a guy worth $200 million, why do you dress like Sharon Stone in the ’90s?
Will Ferrell
He’s a man. A full-grown man who works and loves and makes things with his hands. A man who sings songs for 9-year-olds and cuts his hair like a gay figure skater.
Snoop on Tinder/Prison/Bieber
Justin, you so motherf–king pretty, when the inmates saw your mug shot they swiped right.
A Double Diss
Is it true you dumped [Selena Gomez] because she grew a mustache before you? – Jeffrey Ross
Kevin Hart on… Ebola?!?
Ebola patients hear about ‘Bieber fever’ and say, ‘I’m gonna go ahead and ride this one out.'”
Justin Bieber
What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.