Drunk people and cell phones do not mix. Here are 21 hilarious drunk texts for proof.
Yep. That.
Regret. EVERYTHING. Never doing that again. (Until next weekend.)
Candles
“Candles” is about the only thing that makes sense here and even that not so much.
Party Time
GET THOSE GLOWSTICKS UP!
True Colors
Alcohol brings out the truth in people, right?
You Don’t Say!
As if it weren’t obvious.
Poor Life Choices
Not even kind of sure how this happens.
Make New Friends
Like the guy at the Chinese takeout place who stopped you from peeing in the chow mein.
Designated Drivers
Hey, at least he was trying to drink responsibly.
Translation?
This is what happens when people try to get smart with drunk people.
Pimp Juice
Disney got so much wrong about Pocahontas, but she was kind of a badass.
Drunk Jess
Drunk Jess sounds like fun, if a little dumb.
Love, Taio Cruz
What just happened here?
Reincarnation
Definitely want to come back as a dolphin. Definitely.
F Bomb Mom
We love how many times this drunk mom drops the F bomb while trying to text her DJ request.
Duck, Duck, Goose!
Goose your Mallard? Talk to me Goose? What?
BOO!!
We promise you’ll never be able to look at a tampon the same way again.
Farmville
Facebook games. Ruining gardens one drunk person at a time.
Officer Friendly
This nice “ploice” man definitely wins the Officer Friendly award.
Ouch!
There’s not really a planet on which this seems like a good idea.
The Final Countdown
Oh, so much hilarity here. So very much.
Vagina Solos
This vagina will sing you the song of her people.