We’ve done the dirty work of ranking the 17 best types of porn so you don’t have to. You’re totally welcome.
Hair Porn
If you get your hurrr did, you better post a picture of it ASAP. Even if it looks like a literal bird’s nest.
Nail Porn
WHAT SORT OF FRESH HELL IS THIS?
Fitness Porn
Some say it’s supposed to be inspirational, but fitness porn does more harm than good. Unless it’s a guy doing push-ups with a goat on his back.
Map Porn
Thanks to this map, we know where Ludacris has sowed his wild oats. Wait, what kind of porn are we talking about?
Beer Porn
Oh yes, we’d tap that.
Gadget Porn
Hey, girl, come sit on this sofa next to me and my tablet. We can watch Netflix.
Starbucks Porn
If you go to Starbucks and don’t post a picture of your frap, it probably didn’t happen.
Photography Porn
Nothing says “I’m a photographer” like sharing a picture of your gear.
Tree Porn
Trees are so…hard? (That was too easy.)
Abandoned Places Porn
Are you sharing pictures of abandoned places because you want to film your own porn there? If so, better look for ones not marked “private.”
Book Porn
You’re smart. You’re sexy. You’re every man’s librarian fantasy.
Quote Porn
Do we get bonus points for quote porn featuring porn quotes by none other than Ron Jeremy?
Shoe Porn
Foot and shoe porn is legit, so there’s a definite market for shoe porn. These probably don’t top the shoe porn lovers’ lists though.
Tattoo Porn
Showing off your ink while showing off some skin? Tattoo porn is clever.
Kim Kardashian Porn
We couldn’t very well rank the best types of porn without including Kim Kardashian, porn star, could we? Of course not. But it’s not the BEST type of porn.
Food Porn
Oh yes, yes get in my mouth you juicy, delicious burger and fries!
Cat Porn
Cats run the Internet. We’ll take all the pictures of cats we can get.