Of all the celebs we cover here at THG, Farrah Abraham stands out as the young woman who always comes up with the best quotes.
The definition of “best” is subjective, obviously. If you listen to Farrah ramble, rant, reflect or ruminate on something, you know what we mean.
There is perhaps no single more predictable thing in the celebrity gossip world than a vintage Abraham word salad generating headlines.
So in celebration of this ongoing, amazing fact …
Here are some of the most memorable (no dispute about that), and usually dubious (or that), things the Teen Mom star has ever said.
From her younger daze to the infamous Teen Mom OG reunion fight seen around the world, these pearls of wisdom are second to none.
And yes, these quotes are all real.
So Many Hate Crimes
Such a power trip.
The Mogul
We have no idea what that means.
Grab Life By the P–sy!
Wonder how she feels about her vote now.
I Don’t Share My Stage
Never share your stage, Farrah. Never.
Just a Cut Above
She can’t see you from way up on her high horse.
I Love You, But STFU
Two … what?
Not a Real Friend, But …
Not real. Just true. So true.
High Road? Taken.
This s–t is beneath her.
Better Off Alone!
She ain’t got time for you haters.
From Rags to Riches
An inspirational story.
Not About the Porn
It’s NOT about porn okay?!
Different Styles of Parenting
We’ve all been there right?
Raped By Uber
Rape as a figure of speech? No, actual rape.
F–kin’ Monkey
“F—kin monkey ewe s—t come up 4 what she is a nothing.†– Farrah going all racist, NSFW and nonsensical on Blac Chyna for no reason at all
How Ya Like Me NOW!?
“I was once the girl buying all those magazines and now I’m on the cover and in magazines and am the star of every occasion. I once…
Mom of the Year
[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I’m] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.
She’s Gonna Be a (Cam Girl) Star
“I will always have a place in my heart for reality TV as I [have] history in reality television and for social issues time and time…
Sex Tape vs. Teen Mom
I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having…
The Tooth Fairy Brings BANK!
Loosing [sic] your teeth should be special, I like to add passion and something special to everything … These years are flying bye…
Dabbling with Businessmen
I say go where the getting is good. I’m not going to find such marriage material at a club. I do dabble with, like, some businessmen that…
It Suits Her
I feel like if I can’t show my true self, and if I can’t explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth….
I Work HARD
I’m young, I’m 22, and I’m a single mom. On the flip side, I’m a very good mom. I work very hard. I’m probably one of the best parents…
I Seriously Rule at Life
No matter what I’ve been doing, I’ve been doing the best in it that we know of. What I’m saying by that is, if I’m developing novelty…
Huh?!?
I think moving on in my future and in my career that is something that I am proud of at the same time I’m using it as a positive rather…
Plastic Surgery FTW?
After years of utilizing plastic surgery for positive changes in my life, I’ve seen it help me as a person and help my life thrive.
Better Products
I just want to bring great prices and better products to the world and be creative all at the same time, and I think that’s what I’m good…
Smart Business Woman
Against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever – it was already out, it was already going to be…
Popular Girl Problems
I don’t really pay attention to much online. Listen, I was, like, the most popular girl growing up and I had women do the same thing to…
I’m Not a Porn Star!
I am not a porn star, I’m going to be done doing adult gentlemen’s clubs and exotica expos soon you know. At first I loved doing that,…
No, I’m Really Not a Porn Star!
I have friends who are in the adult entertainment industry, and that is something that they make their full income off of. That is what…
Beating Her Hard
“I’ve been beating out Kim on a lot of things.” – Farrah on rival Kim Kardashian, without explaining what things those actually might be
True Professional
You’re very close with [fans], so in that aspect, in that light, I think it’s only helped me be more honest and a hardworking person…
Maci Bookout is LIEING!
Maci is still scared. Well when she stops lieing [sic] being immature like the rest might be hope of me associating with them. I wonder…
James Deen Sucks!
[On James Deen] I don’t need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the…
God is My Manager
I think God is my manager. God is my guide. Because within entertainment, I can’t control anyone, I can’t pay somebody enough. God really…
Take That, Charlie Sheen
[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting…
Not TRYING to Drink
[Also on her DUI arrest] I was drinking throughout the night but I was just getting drinks from friends and I was not really trying to…
.147 BAC = Safe
[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone’s life.
Farrah vs. Jenelle
Jenelle [Evans] has all the potential to turn her negatives into a positive like I have.
Writing About Sex
I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex. I think it’s because I’m 22, and kind of single. What better to express…
Peace in the Middle East
They need to look at those parts of their society and maybe just not want to kill each other and get rid of somebody like Hitler.
It’s ON Now B!tch
I’m further along in life than she is … I heard she lost her kid – maybe she should focus on that. – Farrah on Leah Messer, who shaded…
Them?
“I don’t do that with them.” – Farrah on sex with black men (seriously)