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A pair of celebrities that have accomplished nothing in life celebrate a birthday today.

First, we’ve already wished the best to Suri Cruise, who is now four years old. A major star in her own right, Tom and Katie’s daughter has really done nothing except look cute for awhile now.

But that’s a long resume compared to what today’s other birthday girl has accomplished: Kourtney Kardashian is famous for being the sister of someone that starred in a sex tape and for having a child out of wedlock with a confirmed douchebag.

Way to go, Kourt!

In fairness to the new 31-year old, she’s also appeared on a number of supermarket tabloid covers during her 30th year on Earth. That takes a lot of work by her publicist. We’ve listed them all below…