On 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days Season 6, Episode 9, tragedy struck.
We don’t just mean people ruining their own outings or wondering if their plans for the future are going nowhere.
Someone died. Meaning that the developing relationship went on the back burner.
Meanwhile, multiple couples are on totally different wavelengths in regard to intimacy. But those aren’t their only problems.
Take a look at our full recap below:
Christian and Cleo
After their first date didn’t go so well, they’re having a better second day together. They go for a walk around town. Christian even buys Cleo a tiger’s eye necklace. He awkwardly says that this will be “something to remember” him, which is not usually what you tell your current girlfriend.
They have fun!
We wouldn’t normally consider eating British food to be an enjoyable date activity, but they make it fun. They’re playful, flirty, exchanging kisses, and generally having a much better time.
They do talk about last night
Cleo explains that it was a combination of him seeing to blow her off to talk to a neighboring table with the situation already being overwhelming for her. She does correct him when he seems to think that her autism boils down to sensory discomfort and feeling overwhelmed — because there’s much more to her. To the camera, she confides that she is now feeling more concerned about his party-going personality than she is about being his first trans girlfriend.
Back at the rental …
They share some wine. Tonight, they’re staying in for a romantic night. They have some wine, and Christian has something to show her. There’s an awkward line about a “baby-makin’ playlist.” Honestly, this term refers to anything sexy, and people will use it for (cis) gay couples sometimes too. But the line falls flat, because it’s an awkward reminder that Christian’s past girlfriends have been cis.
VR!
Cleo plays some VR. When these two first began talking, they spoke about video games a lot. So Christian thought that this would be a fun surprise. It’s either a single-player game (all of the best games are) or he just has one (expensive) VR set. But either way, she has a blast. As a viewer, it’s refreshing to see someone do something normal with their time. Most of the time, obviously, production can’t film people doing normal stuff like watching TV, playing video games, or going to work.
Bedtime!
Here is where the evening takes a bit of a turn. Because they talk about it, and they both say that they’re still very into each other physically. But beyond kissing and snuggling, neither of them have made an actual move. They have a limited time together, things were very frisky online (at least, so it seems), and this is their second night. Is Christian getting cold feet?
Hmmm …
Christian tells Cleo that it’s nothing personal, and it’s also not that he’s getting cold feet. First, he says that she has shied away from some PDA, which has made him feel rejected and insecure and slowed his roll. Second, he tells her that he usually waits for the girl to make the first move. Cleo, too, waits for the guy to make the first move. So is this just one of those “I wait for my partner to make the first move” scenarios?
Goodnight
There’s affection and kissing, which is awkward enough on camera. But that’s where it stops. Some viewers are getting flashbacks to Caleb and Alina when they first got together. But, to the camera, Cleo talks about how Christian has never seemed like a “waits for the girl to make a move” kind of guy before.
David and Sheila
Tragedy has come to Sheila’s home. Her mother, Remedios, was clearly not entirely well and mobile when David first arrived. David has spent one night in Sheila’s family home … only to wake up to learn that his potential future mother-in-law has passed away during the night. And it was not in her sleep.
“My mother fell down near the stairs”
A tearful Sheila shares that there was a board — possibly on the stairs (it’s unclear) that was not properly secured. Remember, her father Simplicio built the house himself, and it has weathered fire and a typhoon and was an obvious health hazard. It looks like her mother fell down those perilous stairs and died. Sheila feels devastated, of course.
“She needs to spend time with her family to grieve”
David is of course in shock, even if he does not really know Sheila’s family like he knows Sheila herself. This was not what he expected. Sheila is, of course, in a much worse place emotionally. Instead of focusing upon introducing her boyfriend to her family, she is now grieving the loss of her beloved mother.
There is also a funeral
This means Filipino funerary customs, including spending time with the deceased loved one and a funeral procession down the street. It is all very unfamiliar to David, who at times does not even know what’s going on. He’s there for Sheila, though.
“I want to be there for Sheila”
At times, he worries that he is acting as a distraction or a burden to Sheila. She has to explain everything to him, not only because of the language barriers — but because it’s a different culture with different customs. So David is just doing his best to be with her in this time.
They hold the funeral
They then inter Remedios’ coffin above ground, showering it with flowers. David might not understand the language or the customs, but in this moment, he doesn’t truly need to
“She’s going to come to my hotel and stay with me”
Sheila very understandably does not wish to remain in the house where her mother died. It’s probably about sentiment, but it’s also a serious safety issue and it’s not getting better. Her son will stay with family for a little while, and she will stay with David. However, they both know that her attentions are divided. This is not what either of them had imagined for his trip to see her.
Gino Palazzolo and Jasmine Pineda
In Panama City, Gino and Jasmine visit a jewelry store. Ostensibly, they are there to buy a gift for Jasmine’s younger sister. It’s her birthday. However, Jasmine has a secondary objective.
“Do you have rings?”
Jasmine is in the market for a ring … for Gino to buy for her. Wait, didn’t he give her an engagement ring last season when he proposed? It was unnervingly cheap, to the point where viewers felt embarrassed watching him buy it. But Jasmine wants a new, better ring — and she doesn’t want to wait for the K-1 visa, which is apparently when he’s planning to give her a new engagement ring. But what happened to the old ring?
Jasmine “lost” it
She insists that she did not lose it on purpose. But she does admit that it was not the sort of ring that she would ever have purchased for herself. In other words, she says that she hated it but also that she “lost” it totally by accident. Okay, sure.
She has another ring, though
Jasmine admits to the confessional camera that she has, at times, worn the engagement ring from her ex as a substitute. This clearly hurts Gino’s feelings, but she insists that it’s not out of any attachment to that ex. Gino asks how she’d feel if he did something similar. Jasmine becomes annoyed, and suggests that he stop “comparing” everything.
“We should get a lawyer”
Jasmine has another expense in mind. She is tired of waiting for the K-1 visa and has become convinced that Gino must have filled it out wrong. So she wants him to hire an immigration attorney. Gino does not, as he says that they haven’t passed the milestone at which point it will have been an unusual amount of time. But Jasmine has waited 12 months, and thinks that he’s just too cheap to hire an attorney.
By the way …
The jewelry store employee did not need to witness this. She is just collateral damage in this couple’s mess. But then, so are the rest of us. At least we get the edited version. She had to watch this nonsense unfold in real time.
Of course, they both become upset
Gino storms out, and Jasmine cries. It’s a mess. It’s also exactly what the couples counselor advised them to avoid doing. Meanwhile, a tearful Jasmine feels like Gino’s reluctance to spend money is a personal rejection of her.
But whatever, it’s Liz’s birthday
That evening, they try to put aside their hard feelings. We’re not sure why Liz’s 20th birthday includes a covered tandem bike ride. Maybe she had a real celebration another time, and not being the third wheel to her sister and her future brother-in-law. Anyway, the ride actually looks fun, though
“I have never had an orgasm with you”
Jasmine jokes about how she wants Gino to slow down before he has a heart attack, Gino counters that he’s perfectly healthy. And somehow this turns into Jasmine taunting him that she “fakes” her orgasms every time (what, all seven times?) with him. She then claims that she’s joking.
“That wasn’t so bad.”
The reviews are in! Liz says that it could have been worse. It was nice to see everyone laughing here and there, even if things got a bit weird.
They go for ice cream
While Liz gets her ice cream, Gino has something for Jasmine — a ring. It looks like he bought this one without Jasmine and without cameras, so we don’t know how much it cost. But this “promise ring” does seem to make Jasmine happy.
All better?
Jasmine and Gino kiss at the ice cream place, like a couple of teenagers. If we didn’t know what they were putting each other through, we’d almost find it charming.
Almost
Again, we hope that Liz had a real birthday later. With friends and, you know, none of her sister’s relationship nonsense. Happy birthday, Liz!
Riley and Violet
You know how some relationships don’t work out because the people in them are too different? That’s not the case with these two. They’re too similar. Riley is in his hotel room, fuming over Violet. He says that he blocked her after their date night fight.
Violet feels the same way
She, too, has blocked Riley. After she sent him a lengthy message. She resents that he did not defend her from his friend, and the shift in his demeanor was alarming. Her ex didn’t defend her when her conservative, traditional ex-mother-in-law complained when she had another daughter. Violet doesn’t want to be with a partner who won’t stand up for her.
“Suddenly he changed demeanor”
While out shopping with her eldest daughter, Tuyet, she tells her what happened.
“And then I blocked him”
Tuyet’s disappointment is visible during the conversation. She also hears how her mother sent Riley a lengthy message just before blocking him. Neither of them seem to realize yet that they have blocked each other.
Read violet’s message
She has some very harsh words for Riley. She doesn’t like that his friend Tiffanie asked her so many questions. She feels that it was an interrogation — and she’s right. Riley very clearly set this up. We’re unsure of why he’d want to ruin his own date night over an undeleted app profile … but we all have our choices and our priorities.
“I have to tell you the truth. Both of you are adults.”
Tuyet’s common sense is a breath of fresh air. She asks Violet if she wants to play a game or if she wants this relationship to work out. They need to speak in person and find a resolution or they’re just going to stay bitter. Blocking each other after every fight sounds both childish and stubborn.
At his hotel …
Riley says that Violet will have to approach him first to apologize, because he feels that he did nothing wrong.
Back with Tuyet
Violet remains adamant that Riley should be the one the cave first — since she did nothing wrong. These two really are two peas in a pod, huh?
RIley goes on a tour
Since he’s in Vietnam, he figures that he might as well enjoy the sights. So he hires a motorcycle tour. Afterwards, he invites the tour guide to join him for a drink as he discusses his current woes.
It’s a good thing that he did
As far as Riley is concerned, Tiffanie asking Violet questions is every bit as valid as Violet’s mom grilling him. But his tour guide explains to him that, in Vietnam, they have a very literal and conservative idea of “family.” So, in their culture, Riley crossed a line. He bluntly tells Riley that Violet should have blocked him, not the other way around. While chosen family is frankly more valid and sensible than super-literal blood relative definitions of the term, this was important cultural nuance that Riley was missing.
Statler Riley and Dempsey Wilkinson
They wake up together. This wasn’t their first night, but it was their first night together in her caravan (trailer home). Statler is from Texas, and she finds the cold very distracting and uncomfortable. In addition to lacking plumbing and a proper septic system, Dempsey’s home also lacks central heating. (Given that she’s British, it also very likely lacks air conditioning … which can be miserable in the summer)
This is hard for Dempsey to hear
You don’t want to hear that your guest is “uncomfortable.” Sure, you want them to tell you, so that you can change the lighting or throw them a blanket or whatever. But it’s not how she wanted to start things. We do have to ask … did they not talk about temperature at all? Because if Dempsey likes the cold winter mornings on the farm and Statler’s version of hell is being cold (her least relatable trait, honestly), that’s a major issue.
Dempsey is a very spiritual gal
So she goes around with a bit of sage, burning it to cleanse the energy of her home. There’s one little detail, though. It’s white sage, which is specifically key to indigenous spiritual practices … and it’s also an at-risk plant species because people want to buy so much of it. Many cultures have used sage in religious and spiritual contexts — and there are many types of sage. Those of us who are not indigenous really can do without using white sage.
WHAT
Dempsey jokingly sages Dempsey’s crotch, joking that it’s “been places” and thus needs it. She means it in good humor, we think, but Dempsey isn’t quite sure what to make of it. After all, a lot of people make jokes about very real sentiments.
Statler has the right idea
She does affirm to the camera that she’s not ashamed of her sexual history. She has been adventurous and had a lot of fun. Good for her! People assigning negative moral value to sex are weirdos. We’d say that it’s like assigning a negative moral value to having eaten multiple pizzas, but there are food purity weirdos who do that, too.
Dempsey loves life on the farm
She’s out in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization, but that’s how she likes it. She loads up some firewood and explains her backstory. Dempsey’s family are what we might call carnies in the US. For generations, they have traveled around to assemble and disassemble rides for traveling carnivals. So she always lived in caravans (trailer homes).
But she left
Dempsey begins to cry as she recalls being a teenager as her older sister, who was only 19 at the time, died. She doesn’t go into detail. It’s a hard moment to watch. Anyone who has lost a sibling knows what it feels like to think that you’re going to share the story calmly, telling yourself that it’s been long enough that you can say it calmly. But sometimes the sadness drags you back under. So, Dempsey explains, she left that behind, couch-surfed for a while, and then her friend Ben offered her a job out here. That’s what she’s been doing ever since.
Meanwhile …
Statler explains to the camera that she has a number of concerns. There is very limited space here, there’s no hot water in the shower, there’s no septic hookup for the bathroom, and there’s no central heat. Dempsey doesn’t know that Statler fully plans to ask to move in with her … and Statler’s questioning if this is a viable option. She loves Dempsey, but where would she put her stuff?
Dempsey shows her around
She knows that Statler is a city girl. She shows her what she does for work — running these countryside getaways and taking care of the guests. She hopes that she’ll come to like it here.
Dempsey also introduces Statler to Ben
Ben knows Dempsey well, and he immediately recognizes that Dempsey is being fidgety — which means that the two of them have hooked up. He admits his surprise that they’ve hooked up already, because he doesn’t think of Dempsey as a fast operator. (Is hooking up after meeting really “fast” if you’ve been talking for months? Not necessarily)
They make dinner together
We find ourselves wondering where the nearest supermarket is. There are places in rural America where people have to drive for nearly an hour just to buy groceries. While Statler and Dempsey are clearly outside of most if not all delivery radiuses (which would be a dealbreaker for me, sorry), they clearly have access to some food and are able to make dinner. They have a good time, laughing and being affectionate.
Statler admits some insecurities
She admits that she felt paranoid while Dempsey was in Vietnam, especially given how Ben talked about the country. Dempsey assures her that it didn’t even occur to her to meet someone else or cheat. Statler admits that she has cheated on one partner, and has been cheated on — and is projecting some of these issues. Honestly? It’s good that she’s self-aware.