90 Day: The Single Life is not one of the 90 Day Fiance franchise’s usual shows.
This spinoff is instead a safety net to “catch” some of the most polarizing, eccentric cast members.
We then watch them try to date again … usually after striking out on a previous season.
Usually.
This week, The Single Life Season 3 began, featuring a host of familiar faces.
Do any of them have a solid chance of finding love again?
And let’s be honest here … how many of us are mostly tuning in for Debbie?
Natalie Mordovtseva
This over-the-top eccentric is living her best life in Los Angeles. As always, she seems to be entirely in her own head, and she makes facial expressions that probably make her fascinating to sketch.
She recalls her backstory
Natalie of course had her ups and downs with Mike Youngquist. Now, she has moved on to Josh, who is very different. Part of that difference is that he has two kids with two different women, but Natalie is too horny for him to ditch him despite her concerns. She’s 37 and she wants kids.
But is Josh ready to settle down?
Natalie interrogates his friend and coworker about Josh, and then confesses her white picket fence dreams to him … things that she has never told Josh, because she fears that he will reject her. There are concerns about how busy he is with work, especially with modeling events — because she is a jealous person. She worries about wasting 4 years with Mike, but how is going into this relationship without telling him her expectations any better?
Natalie goes on a date with Josh
She worries that she is both overdressed and “half-naked” for their date, which is not at a restaurant but on swan-shaped paddle boats. Natalie is her usual neurotic self, while Josh praises the chemistry between them. She cannot stop gushing over his looks. Okay.
Back at the hotel, Natalie wants to have a serious talk
Despite being self-conscious about how she was dressed (she looked great) at the “swan park,” Natalie wants to know Josh’s intentions. Josh has to remind her that this is only their second date, and that it’s “too early to talk about being exclusive.” Natalie becomes petulant and complains at length to the camera. And, to a lesser extent, to Josh. He handles it pretty well and deescalates the situation, asking if she’s cold.
What … what is this?
Natalie goes in for a kiss, which activates Josh’s fight-or-flight-or-freeze response. He freezes up, and they both laugh off this extremely uncomfortable and awkward moment.
Debbie Johnson
Debbie is 69 (nice) and, with her 70th birthday swiftly approaching, she hopes to build a new and meaningful relationship. She doesn’t want to be in the “friend zone” anymore, but dating at her age is difficult. Decades of codependence with her son, Colt, have left her at a disadvantage. Now, she has undergone her famous glow-up. Debbie is also a fan-favorite for this spinoff, with some viewers saying that they are only tuning in for her.
But what about Bob?
Debbie’s “battery operated boyfriend” is a euphemism for her vibrator. We’re glad that she has a healthy sex life, even if it doesn’t involve other people just yet. It’s also great that she feels comfortable talking about it. We all know way, way more than we ever cared to about her son’s sexual proclivities.
Debbie is seeing a new man
This man is just under a year younger than she is, so she jokes that she is a “cougar” and that he is her “boy toy.” Bob’s potential replacement looks like a carpenter from a 1980s DIY home repair show, which is neither an insult nor a compliment.
But things aren’t all fun and games
Debbie’s son Colt arrives, still wearing the regalia from his wizard orgy one assumes (not gonna lie, that looks all kinds of comfy). He swiftly accuses her of “guilt-tripping” him. This turns into him accusing her of yelling at him (after she starts to cry), at which point he storms off. He returns, claims that Debbie is treating him like a “second-class citizen” which does not make one iota of sense, and then says “f–k you.”
Obviously, this is devastating
Debbie, who admitted to Colt that his father would be ashamed of his behavior, sits down and weeps after this ugly confrontation with her son. Colt always brings the drama, but it’s painful for the women in his life.
Caesar Mack
He is back and he is DONE being catfished and used. Well, part of that. Caesar is still entirely interested in women from Ukraine. The guy seems convinced that Maria was just the wrong person on the right path.
This time, he’s pulling out all of the stops
Caesar is willing to pay hundreds — including $500 just to meet some of these women — during his trip to Ukraine. He is enlisting the services of a professional matchmaker. Whether or not this will help him make the right choice is another matter. (Okay, he won’t make the right choice, because fetishizing people from a specific nationality is not the path to happiness and certainly not a way to find a real partner)
Obviously, Caesar’s trip needs to have the right timing
Tensions were already mounting when production filmed this. Russia had yet to launch its brutal invasion of its sovereign neighbor. On Happily Ever After?, we saw Gwen caution Jovi and Yara that now may not be a safe time to travel. Meanwhile, Caesar is more motivated to go, if anything. He seems to feel like it’s now or never. Or maybe he feels like fear of Russian invasion will increase his odds of landing a knockout?
Later, Caesar shares his plans with a friend
But he is scrambling the names of these potential matches, and talking about which he likes more without knowing anything but how they look like. Caesar, buddy … your priorities are all topsy-turvy.
Tania Maduro
She is in Aruba, where she and her censored tatas are reminding us that there is more to the vacation destination than that one missing white girl from two decades ago. Tania, of course, is there to heal after her troubles marriage to Syngin Colchester.
Tania is also looking for love
She looks fantastic. This outfit was also driving me nuts before I realized that I have the exact same ‘fit in a video game, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, Tania wants a guy who can keep up with her intellectually, who shares her values and goals. She also wants kids and commitment.
Tania matched with a guy named Joel
But he’s a bartender. Yes, they matched on a dating app and then sparks flew when they met in person. But … Tania already met a bartender on vacation. He’s her ex. Does she really want to repeat that same experience?
Okay, she’s making some points
Tania notes that the guy is hot, which is true. But that doesn’t mean that he’ll be a good partner, that he’ll want to be a good partner, or that they’ll be sexually compatible. Of course, that is what dating is for, right?
Tania is ready to go out with him
The cameras are focusing a lot on her boobs during this. On the one hand, it’s uncomfortable to watch the cameras ogle her like this. At the same time, we get it. We just hope that Tania is comfortable with the show featuring her assets in all of their glory.
Tania’s date is … interesting
On the one hand, Joel cracks up and says that her “eyes” caught his attention, when he clearly means her breasts. That’s talking to the cameras, not to Tania. In the actual car, he acts a little betrayed when he learns that Tania is not formally divorced or separated. For her, it’s because the paperwork doesn’t mean much to her — she and Syngin are thoroughly over. The paperwork is, after all, just a formality. Joel seems a little taken aback. Are these two a good fit?