Last night on The Hills, Spencer Pratt was under the gun.
Almost literally.
Heidi Montag’s father Bill, not to be confused with her stepdad, who married her mom Darlene, is a legit cowboy, and he threatened to kill Heidi’s beau more than one time during his visit to California. Always fun to watch Spencer squirm.
Eventually, though, he and Spencer got along pretty well. Heck, Bill Montag even sort of gave Spencer props for starting that bar brawl over Heidi.
The two walked along the beach discussing Spencer’s intentions, which Pratt admitted were to live happily ever after with Heidi Montag. Bill agreed to give Spencer his blessing, but warned, “You would be the loser if you lost Heidi.”
Blessing – and engagement ring – in hand, Spencer took Heidi up in the Ferris wheel at Santa Monica Pier to ask her to marry him for real this time.
Heidi balked, saying there were many things in the way of that happening – Spencer has to apologize to Darlene, and to Lauren Conrad, and agree to a traditional, “princess wedding,” which The Hills villain had steadfastly opposed before.
He swore “I know the rules” and was ready to do all of that and more. Then he whipped out a giant diamond, and all Heidi’s worries melted away.
Meanwhile, Audrina Patridge reunited with the White Tie Affair on the set of their music video shoot set and Stephanie Pratt, who previously hit it off with the guitarist of that rock ensemble, rolled up smelling of desperation and stupidity.
Steph and Audzo met up with the singer and the guitarist for drinks, and the boys immediately started making advances. The guitarist, who obviously does not meet enough girls, started inquiring about Stephanie’s relationship status.
When she asked about his love life, he tried the “whatever happens on the road” bit, but said he has “something solid at home.” I.e., living with him.
Despite how pathetic and annoying she is at all times, Stephanie didn’t go the groupie route, later whining to Audrina about it. Meanwhile, Lauren Conrad was at dinner with Brody Jenner lamenting how she had to fire her lazy ass the following day.
LC did so bluntly (after Stephanie arrived late, natch). Stephanie Pratt cried. Lauren offered to help Steph find another job. Steph cried some more.
“Is this like being fired even though I’m just interning?” Stephanie asked, plaintively, as she packed her things and left People’s Revolution forever.
What a moron.