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Please, Chicago Cubs. Spare us next time?

We get it. Pete Wentz grew up in the Chicago area, played dive bars around the colleges before Fall Out Boy got huge, and so on.

But isn’t there a better-looking celebrity with Windy City roots? We know not every star can look like DeAnna Pappas, but still …

Ashlee Simpson’s bitch throws out first pitch at Wrigley Field.

Not sure how Pete got this gig, but Joe Simpson was probably there trying to orchestrate it. That is, if he wasn’t fixing Jessica Simpson‘s bra.

But we’re getting off track here.

All we’re saying is that we’ve had enough of this guy. Next time, Cubs, do us a favor and recruit Kendra Wilkinson for the first pitch duties.