Kailyn Lowry has always been open about her feelings … super, super open.
And now, in her upcoming book, she’s being more open than ever.
The Ashley’s Reality Roundup has obtained some exclusive excerpts from Kail’s new book, A Letter of Love, in which the Teen Mom 2 star writes about her relationship with Javi Marroquin and how it’s evolved over the years.
Let’s just say that this girl is holding nothing back …
These Crazy Kids
Have Kailyn and Javi ever just had a calm, non-dramatic relationship? No, right?
A Romance for the Ages
They met in 2011, when Javi kept creeping on her while she worked in the mall, and things just gotten crazier and crazier since then.
Moving Fast
They got married in September of 2012, and just over a year later, their son, Lincoln, was born.
Not So Great
Things were never really good between them, or at least they weren’t on Teen Mom 2. He seemed a little too controlling, and they just never really seemed to have fun together much at all.
So Sad
In 2015, she got pregnant again, but she ended up having a miscarriage, and in his grief, he blamed her for it.
The End
That was the final nail in the coffin — or one of them, at least — and they filed for divorce that December.
So. Much. Drama.
Since then, things have been weird, and yes, that’s definitely an understatement.
Moving On
They both accused each other of cheating, and there have been so manys stories that there’s a good chance we’ll never know the truth, but we do know that towards the end of 2016, Kailyn got pregnant.
Oh Hey Chris
She and a friend from college, Chris Lopez, had been hooking up, and in August of 2017, their son, Lux, was born. Javi was kind of awkward about it.
Weird
At that point, and at a few other points since the divorce, it definitely looked like he wanted to get back together with her.
But Then …
Instead, he started dating Briana DeJesus, and after she broke up with him (and after a fling with Kailyn didn’t turn out so good) he started dating another old girlfriend, Lauren Comeau.
Well Then
She got pregnant pretty fast, and in December, they’ll welcome a son.
Easy, Everybody
In all that time, throughout all those relationships, Kailyn and Javi have either been super cool with each other, at each other’s throats, or hooking up.
Dang, Girl
But in her upcoming book, A Letter of Love, Kailyn admits that even before they got married, she knew that things with Javi would never work.
Wow
In some excerpts obtained by The Ashley’s Reality Roundup, Kailyn writes all about it, telling readers “I knew going into the marriage with Javi that I would regret it.”
The Truth
“We were fighting constantly and not even sleeping in the same bed,” she continues. “I was overcome and filled with doubt at all times. I was trying to convince myself that things would get better in time, but they never did.â€Â
Sorry, Javi
“Even as I wrote my book, Pride Over Pity, I lied. I wrote about how happy I was in my marriage to Javi. It was all a ditch attempt to try to convince myself.”
Oh, Kailyn …
“Of all the people watching our lives unfold, I now realize that while we were convincing the world, I was the one that needed to be convinced that love was real and that happiness would find me,” she reveals.
Fair
It makes sense that she would feel that way — she grew up with a totally absent father and an alcoholic mother who neglected her, and when she had her first child, Isaac, her relationship with his father didn’t last. It’s easy to understand why she’d have trouble with relationships.
Living a Lie
Kailyn goes on to write “I was married, and my husband had a good job. We had cars. What could have been so wrong? Everything! You can’t live a lie forever. Eventually, the truth will make itself known, and the truth was that Javi and I were not going to make it.â€Â
Fear
During their marriage, she says “He told me on several occasions that he had filed for a divorce. I never knew if he had really done so or not. I was afraid in so many ways.”
Poor Kail
“I was afraid to start over, afraid to fail at love again, and afraid to be the mother of two children from two different relationships that didn’t work.”
Taking a Chance
Because of his habit of threatening divorce, she “made the decision to step outside of my comfort zone and to denounce fear just before Javi was deployed for the military.â€Â
What a Ride
It’s pretty wild to hear that even before she married Javi, she knew she’d regret it, and it’s also pretty sad.
Happy Endings, Please
Here’s hoping that she’s in a much better place now emotionally, and that she and Javi both go on to have much healthier relationships.