It wasn’t long ago when getting eliminated from The Bachelor or The Bachelorette meant the end of a contestant’s 15 minutes of fame.
Luckily, the franchise’s bastard child, or drunk cousin, or summer break – whatever you want to call Bachelor in Paradise – fixed that.
The show will be on its fourth run this summer, as castoffs from the two dating competitions reunite in the tropics for booze and hookups.
Hey, it’s a formula that works, and we are grateful for it.
Thanks to Nick Viall’s just-completed season of The Bachelor, the casting possibilities are better and more insane than ever in 2017.
Here are the guys and girls who NEED to appear.
Corinne Olympios
The most obvious Bachelor in Paradise cast member ever created. If Corinne Olympios doesn’t appear on it this summer, there’s basically no reason to be producing the show (or for this planet to be lived on).
Raven Gates
So many orgasms are experienced each summer on Bachelor in Paradise. What better place for Raven Gates to enjoy her first (we refuse to believe Nick got her there).
Liz Sandoz
Liz Sandoz needs to come to Paradise to talk about her one-night stand with Nick Viall for the 79th time, then have more one-night stands with other Bachelor rejects.
Danielle Maltby
Danielle Maltby was a girl who could’ve gone a lot farther on Nick’s season had it not been for the strong personalities she was up against. In other words, a perfect match for Paradise.
Chad Johnson
Probably second only to Corinne in terms of obviousness, Chad Johnson must return for a second stint if only to terrify the other cast members and be lectured by Chris Harrison again. That was awesome.
Luke Pell
Led to believe he was the star of The Bachelor in 2017, only to be replaced by Nick Viall of all people, Luke Pell must feel like he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. It’s only fair that he gets a shot at love in Paradise … and that his crush Raven Gates awaits.
James Taylor
James Taylor. The one from The Bachelor, not the singer-songwriter. Though this James Taylor is obviously also a singer-songwriter. Who needs to come to Paradise and woo Raven, STAT.
Alex Woytkiw
Alex Woytkiw was a memorable, albeit brief, star of JoJo’s season of The Bachelorette. In Paradise, he would be reunited with Chad and given a whole lot more screen time to stir up trouble.
Grant Kemp and Lace Morris
Grant Kemp and Lace Morris never made it far on The Bachelorette or The Bachelor, but coupled up almost immediately last season in Paradise. Eventually, they broke up, which would make a second stint on the show potentially super awkward … and must-see TV.
Ian Thomson
Paradise is known for giving second chances, and Ian Thomson, from Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season, could use one after this display. Plus, imagine Mr. Princeton grad’s reaction to seeing Chad.
Danielle Lombard
Two Danielles from Nick’s season might seem like overkill … but have you seen Danielle Lombard?!
Robby Hayes
Rounding out the top three JoJo Fletcher’s season with Luke Pell and winner Jordan Rodgers was swimmer/Ken Doll/rumored shady person Robby. Hayes is seen here with Hope Higginbotham, his rumored GF while on The Bachelorette. Hopefully he brings her (or at least the drama) to Paradise.
Chris Soules
Prince Farming has kept a low profile since his starring turn as The Bachelor and almost immediately split from Whitney Bischoff. It’s high time that changed.
Whitney Bischoff
Might as well bring her back too for the awkwardness factor.
Josh Murray
There’s no way Josh Murray, who got engaged to Amanda Stanton after meeting her last season, will still be with her by the time Season 4 premieres, so let’s just pencil him in for a late arrival.
Alexis Waters
For a girl with that last name, Alexis Waters doesn’t know her sea life very well. Perhaps a trip to the tropics will help with that.
Chase McNary
The more we think about it, the more obvious it becomes that JoJo Fletcher rejected a lot of guys who are straight out of central casting for The Bachelor franchise’s guilty pleasure.
Andi Dorfman
This one will never happen, because we can’t see Andi Dorfman lowering herself to this level, however … she did make a cameo on Nick’s season, so you never know what happens when fame calls.
Sarah Herron
Sarah Herron would be the first person to appear on all four seasons of Paradise. It’s a streak that absolutely must happen.
Haley and Emily Ferguson
There’s just something about Haley and Emily Ferguson, the twins from Ben’s season, and the idea that a guy goes on a date potentially looking to hook up with either or both of them that adds a bizarre twist.