Every single one of the ladies on Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 have gone through hard times — that’s kind of the whole point of the show — but Kailyn Lowry has had more than her fair share of struggles.
Kailyn’s been open about the things she’s been through on the show, but in her new memoir, Heart & Hustle, she gets real personal about it all.
Check out the most heartbreaking tidbits below.
She came from a broken home.
“It sure as hell seemed like my own parents couldn’t muster up any love to send my way. My own parents!”
Her parents never taught her how to love.
“If I couldn’t look to them for an example of what it means to be loved, how could I imagine what it was like? If my parents couldn’t love me, how could I be sure anyone would?”
She feels like her mom didn’t love her enough.
“Not enough to numb the embarrassment when she showed up at my elementary school reeking of Jack Daniels. Not enough to dull my hurt and anger when she disappeared and left me on my own for long, long stretches of time. By the time I was a teenager, no one had to tell me to follow my heart.”
Her mother was an alcoholic.
“The best of my mom’s love went into the bottles she drowned herself in day in and day out. The love that should have been mine went into bottles and empty cans that were tossed in the trash and carried away. I was left with whatever spilled, and it wasn’t enough.”
She had a rough childhood.
“I acted up in school, smoked too much weed, had sex too young—the list goes on.”
She still tried to be a good daughter.
“No one can ever say I didn’t try to have a relationship with my mother. I spent the most vulnerable years of my childhood working to hide her drinking from teachers, classmates and neighbors while trying to earn her love.”
She really thought her marriage would last forever.
“I thought I had my fairytale ending on September 4, 2012 – the day I said, ‘I do.’ I had Javi, my knight in shining armor, and we had big plans to build a castle together where we’d raise our children in a stable, two-parent home.â€Â
Javi didn’t support her dreams.
“I wanted to open a blow-dry bar, an idea my friends were so supportive of. Javi, on the other hand, was not on board. In fact, he was downright unsupportive, knocking down the idea every time I brought it up.â€Â
He didn’t trust her, either.
“It became clearer and clearer how little my husband trusted me. When he did things like demanding that I unlock my phone to prove I had nothing to hide, or calling me constantly when I was enjoying time with friends to make sure I wasn’t doing anything ‘sneaky’ behind his back.”
He really thought she was cheating.
“I never lied, never went behind his back and I was never unfaithful. For some reason, he was convinced otherwise.”
But she still believes in love.
“Love takes work, yes. But there must be rewards for that work. Love should always mean honesty, respect and kindness. But love doesn’t mean staying in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy anymore.â€Â
She wants to leave Teen Mom 2.
“I complained to [a friend] about filming for Teen Mom and said that I wanted to be known for other things outside of that. He just told me to ride the wave until I get to where I want to be.â€Â
And despite everything, she’s determined.
“I want to show everyone that even though I grew up like white trash and got knocked up at seventeen, I can get a Bachelor’s degree and raise children who blow people away with their manners, wit and intelligence.”