Another day, another story of incest that may very well make you vomit.
(We’re very, very, very sorry.)
According to arrest warrants, however, Melissa Nell Kitchens and Shaun Thomas Pfeiffer had sex at some point last month.
Kitchens is 45 years old and Pfeiffer is 25 years old, but their ages are not exactly the point here.
The point, instead, is that Kitchens is Pfeiffer’s mother.
His biological mother, yes.
The Buncombe County, North Carolina residents were arrested this week on charges of felony incest.
If convicted, each could face up to three years in prison.
(For the record, this is a much longer prison stint than the one just completed by Brock Turner. As disgusting as this is, that just feels worth mentioning.)
According a police spokesperson, Pfeiffer was being held on $70,500 bail. In addition to incest charges, he’s facing charges of indecent liberties with a child and is expected in court on September 30.
Kitchens (pictured below) is being held on $5,000 bail and is expected in court on September 29.
But… wait! The sordid tale gets even creepier!
Pfieffer, his wife and their toddler son, Zyler, share a home with Kitchens.
We guess the mere fact that a mother and her child had sexual intercourse is as creepy as it gets, but this fact just makes the whole thing weirder, doesn’t it?
A look at Pfieffer’s Facebook page reveals many photos of his son, along with many photos of his mom.
In a lengthy comment left by Kitchens in response to one of her kid’s pictures, it’s rather clear that something is amiss in this relationship.
"Can’t get over How Handsome You Are and I’m about to Cry,” the comment reads.
“Things are Very Stressful and I Love You and I respect Any Decision — As Long as your Happy and Safe…I miss you & wish I had more time w you.”
Click on the photo below to read more:
It’s unclear at the moment just how authorities learned that Pfieffer and Kitchens had sex.
What’s not unclear, of course, is the only reaction any reasonable human being can have to this news.
Take it away, Leslie Mann!
Earlier this week, a mother and daughter in Stephens County, Oklahoma, were also charged with felony incest after police discovered they married each other in March.
This wedding took place eight years after the mother married her son and then had that union annulled after 15 months.
We have to assume all the people involved in these stories are voting for Donald Trump.