As you’ve probably heard, Kylie Jenner turned 18 this week, which means a whole new world of adult freedoms and responsibilities are now open to the reality/selfie queen.
While we can’t afford to buy Kylie a Ferrari like her boyfriend Tyga, there are certain aspects of grown-up life that we’d like to teach her about, if ya know what we mean.
Things such as:
Registering to Vote!
Sure, Kylie knows how to snap a provocative selfie, but does she know how electoral process works. Close that curtain and get ready to be a part of history, girl.
Playing the Lottery!
Sure, your odds of winning big are slimmer than Kendall, but Kylie doesn’t exactly need the money, so why not have low-stakes fun?
Enrolling in College Classes!
Hey, we’re not saying you need to complete a degree, but why not take a couple classes that interest you? Hey, your brain is one body part that can’t be surgically enhanced!
Signing Up For a Credit Card!
We know you’ve probably been using an AmEx black card since you were 12, but now’s the perfect time to start establishing a credit history of your own, young lady. Speaking of finances, it’s time you start…
Learning to Do Your Taxes!
Yes, yes, you can afford an army of accountants, but do you want to end up like Willie Nelson or Wesley Snipes. Sigh. They’re guys who used to be as famous as you are now, and they got into big trouble with the IRS!
Considering Military Service!
The military isn’t for everyone, but it could be for you. We say leave the modeling to Kendall and join the Marines! Ooo-rah!
Getting a Tattoo!
Your sister officially has some of the lamest ink in history. We say you show her what’s up by getting a full-back dragon piece.
Having in Drink (In Some Parts of Canada)
You’re still years away from bellying up to the bar Stateside, but we can take you partying in SOME Canadian provinces. Sadly, you’re still too young to party in Toronto.
Getting Married!
Before, you needed your parents to sign off on a marriage. Now you can hitched to any opportunistic D-bag you want!
Changing Your Name!
Yes, now that you’re 18, you can legally change your identity. Why not go with Kaitlyn, just to mess with everyone’s heads?
Opening a Bank Account
Just walk into a B of A acting all confused, open an account, and immediately deposit $5 million. That oughta get a reaction!
Suing People!
Hey, you know people are gonna be suing you left and right. Why not get in on the fun and file a suit of your own?
Serving on a Jury!
Just kidding. This one is no fun at all. If you get chosen, just show up in one of your signature slinky outfits and get kicked out of court on day one.
Buying a Car!
Now that you’re 18, you don’t need someone else to sign the papers with you. What’s that? You already own a Ferrari and you’ve crashed several wildly expensive vehicles? Moving on then…
Getting Something Pierced!
Now that you’re 18, you can… oh, we see you already have a nipple piercing. Well, just way ahead of us, aren’t you?
Gambling!
We’re talking about going to a casino and having some fun playing the slots, not gambling with your future by continuing to date Tyga.
Working Full-Time!
We know you’re very well-off, but working in retail or fast food, but can be a humbling, yet… no? Okay, then how about…
Dumping Tyga!
Look, we know you’re mature for your age, and before, your options may have been limited as not every guy is willing to break the law for his romance. But now that you’re 18, the dating world is your oyster! We sugest you take advantage of it. Just stay out there, kid. You’re still really, really young.