On Family Guy Season 13 Episode 6, Peter set his sights on a very important mission:
Getting Jesus Christ laid! Nope, that is not a misprint.
It all started after Peter pondered the purchase of a vibrating massage chair, running into Jesus at Brookstone and acting concerned over his plans to spend Christmas alone, eating ramen and watching Grey’s Anatomy.
Peter insists instead on throwing the Son of God a birthday party and then tries to help him with some speed dating.
But a series of rapid fire one-liners caused multiple women to buzz Jesus immediately.
An example of these amazing Family Guy quotes would be: Are you okay with someone who wanders the desert lecturing people on how to act?
Enter Lois, who steps in and tells Jesus all about the complexities of intimacy. She warns her husband that JC may not want a one-night stand.
Jesus ends up falling for Lois and asks Peter if he can sleep with his wife… in exchange for ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.
Peter, of course, chooses the Brookestone Massage Chair.
So, would this be it for Peter and Lois? Of course not. The former salvages his relationship via a revelation that Jesus is nothing more than a con man who goes around banging housewives.
He takes a heroic toboggan ride to JC’s place and rescues Lois from a deed she wasn’t going to do anyway.
What do you think, is Jesus Christ really a virgin? Or has he stumbled upon an amazing scam in which he can go to bed with nearly any woman he wants?
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Also, as Peter himself encouraged during the episode, feel free to voice any complains about this religious topic to the Family Television Counsel.