These 39 company slogans would be a lot more honest than the corporations’ actual ones. Check ’em out.
Pepsi
Is Pepsi okay?
KMart
We still exist!
WebMD
Convince yourself you have a terminal illness.
FedEx
It’s probably broken.
Apple
$2,000 Facebook machines!
Waffle House
It’s 2 a.m. and you are drunk.
Best Buy
The Best Buy is probably on Amazon, but this lets you check it out in person first.
Target
The middle class Walmart.
Yellow Pages
Here, YOU throw this out.
Victoria’s Secret
Lowering your self-esteem for nearly four decades.
Ticketmaster
We’re gonna charge whatever we want.
Gillette
We’re just going to keep adding more blades.
Hulu
Choose your ad experience to ignore.
Ikea
They totally do that.
Monopoly
Some people do take this a bit seriously.
Maybelline
Maybe she’s born with it, or …
Urban Outfitters
Homeless Chic is so in these days.
Yelp
Pretend your review matters.
Keystone Light
Binge drink and stay sober longer!
Delta
Put anything you need in your carry-on.
Budweiser
The king of beers … or kind of like beer?
Dirt Devil
Clean up after and/or harass your animals.
Hallmark
Feel the magic of corporate America.
Coors Light
The mountains turn blue! OMG!!
Bounty
Makeshift plates!
Trader Joe’s
Feels like you can afford Whole Foods!
Twister
Subtly get to second base with that cute girl you have a crush on.
Starbucks
Be rude and you pay more than the expensive price of your latte.
Perrier
Water for snobs.
Under Armour
Feel so athletic today.
Garmin
Drive yourself into the nearest body of water.
Lay’s
Flavored air (and salt).
Purell
Less time consuming than washing hands.
Lululemon
Girls in yoga pants are hot.
Bic
You probably didn’t buy it.
YouTube
Watch videos. Don’t read under the videos.
McDonald’s
Because you only have $4.
Hidden Valley Ranch
Making salads unhealthy very fast!
Pizza Hut
We have a salad bar somehow!