Brandan De Nuccio and Mary Rosa might be one of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way‘s most toxic couples. Even though, on their own, they both seem great.
While we know some spoilers about Brandan and Mary, on this week’s episode, Brandan was packing his bags to move.
He’s spent tens of thousands of dollars building a house for him and Mary in the Philippines.
While he was on his flight, Mary abruptly told him to not come. Why? A predictably toxic reason.
We still don’t have any answers for why TLC is airing 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way just 22 hours after the previous episode of 90 Day Fiance: Before The 90 Days ends. Seems like a bad idea.
But Brandan and Mary’s story is grabbing our sleep-deprived, time-starved attention anyway.
These two attractive 23-year-olds are wildly in love. But their twisted obsession means that they are on video calls with each other at all times — even when they sleep.
Brandan feels that most of his family does not support his relationship, because it’s so destructive and unhealthy. That’s true!
However, his godmother, Caitlin, and godfather, Ryan, are sort of surrogate parents to him. He went through some very hard times in his teens.
It’s not that they think that this toxic obsession is good for him. It’s just that they support him, as a person. Sometimes, that’s all that you can do.
On Season 5, Episode 2 of 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, we see Caitlin and Ryan take Brandan fishing.
Unfortunately, their fishing options are pretty limited. (I don’t really know how fishing works as I even avoid it in video games, but there’s more to it than just finding a spot where there’s water)
What’s holding them back? They have to fish somewhere that has a decent signal.
That’s right — Brandan can’t even go on a fishing trip without Mary’s constant supervision.
The last time that he went fishing, he lost a signal. Mary accused him of cheating on her, and they had a big fight.
Instead of either asserting some boundaries or breaking up with her, Brandan is giving in — letting her watch him fish.
It might sound less interesting than watching paint dry.
But any time that Mary is unable to see Brandan and unable to reach him, she becomes convinced that he is cheating on her.
To be fair, he returns that intense jealousy to some degree. So … one really has to question how much this relationship has cost them both.
Speaking of the steep cost of this relationship, Brandan has worked multiple jobs over the years. Even when he was homeless.
But he only has about $250 in his bank account. And not for the usual “our economy is a hellscape designed to funnel money from hardworking citizens to massive firms that enrich the few” reasons.
He has spent an estimated $50,000 to $60,000 building a house in the Philippines where he and Mary will live. So … he has truly invested himself in this relationship.
So, as Brandan’s godparents are very well aware, he really doesn’t see any alternatives to his upcoming move.
It’s either he moves to be with Mary forever … or nothing.
By his own admission, he has no Plan B.
Meanwhile, Mary’s constant monitoring of Brandan doesn’t have to be active. She will sleep through his fishing trip … but she absolutely insists that, should she wake up, she gets to watch.
This has cost Brandan multiple jobs. Because, you know, normal jobs don’t let your overbearing girlfriend monitor you over the phone the whole time.
Brandan could have a lot of opportunities if he dropped this toxic relationship and applied himself to something else. But … it’s his choice to make.
We then see Brandan packing his things to go.
He has games for himself (we didn’t see which ones, but we are so curious) and some snacks for Mary.
Brandan has never even left the country before. Now, he’s moving to the Philippines. And not to one of the more modern, industrialized parts of it.
As we mentioned, Brandan’s mother has expressed a lot of concerns about this decision.
Mary’s intense jealousy has driven a wedge between him and his family. Even if he spends time around his mom or sister, Mary worries that other women might be nearby.
This is not acceptable or okay. His family is right to feel concerned. But Brandan will have to make his own mistakes, unfortunately.
Brandan’s mother did come to meet him at the airport.
It’s past the point where she’s trying to talk him out of this.
Maybe he could have been discouraged at some point. But … it’s too late. Now, she just has to let him know that she loves him.
Brandan has a lot of people who love him.
Not his s–tty dad, by the sound of it, but his mom, his sister, his godparents.
They’ll be there for him if he returns to the US with nothing. And that may be more likely than Brandan thinks.
Brandan did not initially have wifi on his flight.
So Mary was already in an unhinged mood.
When she found out that he was sitting next to a (gasp) girl, she absolutely flipped out.
Brandan even went so far as to change his seat on a plane.
I would ask to change seats on a plane for my dearest love or for my mortal enemy, but very little in between. He really does love Mary.
But even after Brandan assured Mary that he was no longer in potential cheating distance, she remained inconsolable.
“You’re a cheater and a liar,” Mary accused via text. She called him a “liar” multiple times.
“I don’t want to see you,” she told him. Brandan was already en route to her. He had poured everything into this move, to start their life together.
Mary told him: “I don’t want to live a life with you.” They would both be better off without each other. And yet, we know that this is not the end for them.