Amy Duggar is a controversial figure among Duggar fans and critics alike.
Some of her own cousins are too brainwashed to talk to her. Amy was lucky enough to avoid a lifetime of cult indoctrination.
She is also not passing on Duggar family generational trauma. Instead of IBLP abuse, she practices gentle parenting.
But is she doing a good job of it? Some of her own fans and followers aren’t so sure.
Amy Rachelle King, whom most fans know as “wild cousin” Amy Duggar, is married to Dillon King.
Together, they have a son. 3-year-old Daxton King will turn four years old this October.
Being three, he is just old enough to get up to mischief, and not yet old enough to fully control his impulses. Or even to realize (without guidance) the difference between fun and harm.
So, what’s the issue? On Friday, June 30, Amy took to Instagram with a little glimpse into her life as a parent.
“Gentle parenting is why there’s whine in the fridge!” she quipped in her Instagram caption.
Next to her message, she had a video of her retrieving a pair of scissors from 3-year-old Daxton.
“He now has paper to cut at the table supervised,” Amy told her fans and followers.
“I could tell he wanted to use the scissors,” she explained. Her son “then ran off.”
Scissors are an intriguing tool for a child. They’re able to permanently alter their environment. But “permanence” is a shaky concept to preschool-aged kids.
“Hand them to mommy and obey,” Amy instructed Daxton during the video.
She successfully retrieved the scissors.
Apparently, she revealed, her son had clearly wanted to give the cat a haircut. While he would likely not have been able to, it’s truly best to not give kids a chance to even try.
Amy emphasized the importance of gentle parenting, which is just … parenting where you’re not abusing or otherwise harming your child.
She noted very accurately that yelling at children does not do anything but “harm them.”
“But,” Amy noted, “by talking effectively and communicating with him, he understood.”
Amy emphasized that “We can use the scissors of course!”
She added humorously: “Just not on the cat.”
Very true! At age three, most kids are old enough to use scissors under a parent’s supervision.
It’s deeply sad that people still have to explain how to parent without harming your child.
But is Amy doing it right? Better than her abusive relatives is not the same thing as right, after all.
Commenters had some questions and concerns on that topic.
“I don’t like this new parenting of telling your child to ‘obey’” expressed one commenter. “… Can we use another word that’s better?”
Another began with an affirmation, writing: “I love your parenting but not the ‘obey’ part.”
Amy wrote to her followers: “Kids need grace to mess up and learn!”
“Besides I don’t want him [to] learn ‘instant obedience’ like the IBLP does,” Amy strongly emphasized.
“I want him to ask questions and learn,” she stressed, “knowing mom and dad are trying to protect him only.”
That is a normal and healthy way to raise a child. If only it were more common.
Others took issue with the way that Amy’s caption seemed to normalize “wine mom” culture.
“Being after a long day, it’s OK to have a glass and relax and recharge for another amazing day with your kids,” Amy replied.
“I never said I drink in an excessive amount but c’mon, having a glass of Moscato is nothing I’ll be ashamed of,” she quipped. Amy then noted: “Jesus drank wine.”