In case you’ve been living under a special kind of rock that blocks out any and all Kardashian news (lucky!), you’ve probably heard the new reports that Rob Kardashian isn’t the real father of Blac Chyna’s unborn baby.
No, the word on the street is that the father could actually be Pilot Jones, and that he could have fathered that little baby during one of Rob and Chyna’s biweekly breakups.
The other word on the street is that Kris Jenner is out for blood.
According to a source that spoke with Radar, "When Kris found out that the baby might not be a Kardashian, she absolutely lost her s**t."
"Kris is demanding that Blac Chyna take a lie detector test if she wants to keep her contract for Rob & Chyna," the source adds.
Oh, so that’s the issue here? Not Rob’s relationship or his emotional well-being, but the reality show contract? Oh, OK.
That source isn’t done yet, either.
It also turns out that "Kris has invested so much time and money into Blac that she will stop at nothing to get to the bottom of this."
"Time and money" … hey, don’t ever let anyone tell you that Kris Jenner doesn’t know what’s important in life.
And, as the source so sinisterly adds, "If she fails the test, there will be hell to pay!"
Yeah, sounds about right.
If you didn’t have quite enough sympathetic nightmares for Blac Chyna yet, then allow us to share with you how Rob’s sisters are feeling about this little scandal.
"If Blac Chyna’s baby is not Rob’s," this source claims, "there will be hell to pay."
"Rob’s sisters will make sure that Blac Chyna is destroyed. They will make sure that she is left in financial ruin, and that she will never work in this industry again."
Damn, Kardashians, how about you all just chill for a minute? Have you ever even heard of chilling? Because all this is just way too extra.
Also, why does this family seem to want people to have "hell to pay" so often? Are they actually demons? That’s none of our business.
*insert frog emoji, insert tea emoji*
Look, if these rumors are true and Pilot Jones really did father Chyna’s baby, that’s sad, but does that really make her worthy of being "destroyed"?
We know that the Kardashians are the most moral and just citizens in all the land, but come on now.
Seriously, come on.