Vanderpump Rules Season 3 Episode 2 proved to us that, well, the Bravo reality show’s title is no misnomer. Lisa Vanderpump rules, and with an iron fist if need be.
The boss was all kinds of fired up on Vanderpump Rules Season 3 Episode 2, laying the SMACK down on SUR staffers for some of their recent shenanigans.
Like what, you ask? And who got FIRED as a result? Let’s recap …
As you know if you watch Vanderpump Rules online, this crew likes to party. Well, that has a downside, and we’re not just talking about Instagram wars.
Tom Sandoval and his British, selfie-loving DJ foil James, who came to blows at Scheana Marie’s birthday party, sparked some changes at the restaurant.
Everyone involved feared that the HBIC might drop the hammer on them after they got into yet another public melee, but would Lisa really go that far?
Before we learned the staff members’ fate, other important matters had to be covered. Literally, in the case of Jax Taylor’s tattoo of Stassi Schroeder’s name.
With a black rose, no less. So symbolic.
Obviously, Jax also got a Carmen tattoo, because his new girlfriend totally "lives there" and is totally a perfect fit for him for life, or at least the next 20 minutes.
Obviously, Jax gave Carmen the boot on a pizza date IN THE SAME EPISODE, which didn’t go over well with her. She told him to grow up, which is unlikely.
Speaking of the now de-inked Stassi, she’s back in L.A. and apartment hunting with her new beau. She tells Katie she needs a two-bedroom place.
Meanwhile, Sheana is banged up after the fight at the party so she decides to cut ties with James and Kristen Doute, given that they are like totally toxic.
At least Tom Sandoval is in her good graces for texting her a four-minute apology video of himself crying after she cut her foot and went to the hospital.
Tom also slathered on a bunch of makeup after his fight with James to conceal just how badly he got his ass whomped, and it did a really good job.
He enjoyed it a little too much, though.
Lisa Vanderpump is pretty pissed at all of them for this nonsense, and after much deliberation (and Tom Schwartz sweating bullets), she made her decision:
James will have lots more time to take Beamer selfies all day because he’s been fired, while both Kristen Doute and Tom were suspended from SUR.
Don’t mess with the Pump.
Speaking of which, Lisa interviewed a bunch of hot men for her new restaurant, PUMP. Those men will be wearing pink button down shirts that are too small.
Finally, Peter Madrigal actually spoke for once and made the most of it, telling off Kristen Doute and claiming she is a detriment to the entire establishment.
The truth hurts.