Teresa Giudice is going to prison come January, and while she’s understandably not happy about this, she doesn’t have much to worry about inside.
In fact, if there’s one thing you can discern when you watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey online, it’s that the surroundings will likely suit her well.
Here are 11 reasons, summed up in GIF form, why Giudice will the the baddest b!tch to ever grace the confines of the minimum security prison nicknamed Camp Cupcake:
Just because she does not understand how to read a plea deal, or possibly read in general, doesn’t mean she can’t stand her ground in the slammer.
If someone tries to come at her with a crude shank in the showers, or a guard tries to belittle her, or a fellow inmate so much as smirks in her direction?
We suggest they grab the nearest hat and hold the f–k onto it.
No, we don’t imagine anyone’s gonna come between Teresa and her Salisbury steak and creamed corn. In fact, we’d likely offer her extra as a peace offering.
We would also suggest to the powers that be that they consider nailing the cafeteria tables to the floors between now and the first week of January.
Just ask Danielle Staub if you’re unclear on why.
The penitentiary Giudice calls home for these 15 months of her sad existence will never be the same, since she has zero f–ks to give at this point.
If it were possible to have negative f–ks to give, she’s the woman who would embody that attitude. That’s just the type of person she is at this point in her life.
The only downside? No beachside bikini opportunities, although maybe she can still get her tan on in the exercise yard if she’s okay keeping one eye open.
You don’t want to nod off. Not with shivs around.