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The fake pregnancy chatter is dying down.

The abortion threats didn’t net that many headlines.

That stalker story only lasted for a day.

So, what is an attention-starved, talentless celebrity such as Tila Tequila to do next? Pretend like she’s on the verge of death, of course.

The former Penthouse pin-up bumped her head yesterday. It was so serious that she had time to Tweet non-stop about what it could actually result in. To wit:

Tila was released from the hospital and returned home last night. She hasn’t posted a Twitter message in hours.

Maybe this really is serious! (Editor’s note: it’s not.)