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Don’t worry, Anna Nicole Smith, you’re still the red menace.

But Jessica Simpson looks intent on giving you a run for your criminally crimson money.

Perhaps inspired by her and Ashlee’s bright, red lipstick, Jessica has dyed her famous blonde hair a gross, dark shade. Now what excuse will she have for wondering what part of the buffalo wings come from?

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We’re not sure what cheesy boy toy, John Mayer, has to say about the new look – but we’re guessing it’s something cheesy.

Jessica’s body may still be a wonderland, but her hair is closer to a blunderland now.

Bad jokes aside, there’s little doubt that Vanessa Minnillo would now win any photo contest with Nick Lachey’s ex.

Heck, Ron Jeremy might even have a chance.

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