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Kevin Federline’s sneakers are like his career. They stink.

Ba-dum-ching!!! We are here all. Day. Long. Yes, it’s true that in an effort to boost sales for his upcoming joke of a debut album, Federline’s PR people have come up with the brilliant idea to give away the sneakers he wore for last month’s “performance” at the Teen Choice Awards.

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Try to contain your excitement at this chance to own a piece of history and listen to what you have to to. All that’s required for you to enter to win that lovely prize is buying the record, Playing With Fire, in pre-sale. Being crafty marketing pros, TMZ reports that the K-Fed team has also set up some additional giveaways for those charitable enough to cough up a couple of bucks.

NOTE: Considering that the items up for bid are Kevin Federline memorabilia, that may not be very many of you… at least we hope not.

The sneaks aren’t even the Grand Prize. By pre-ordering you are entered to win a Grand Prize Trip for two to L.A. for two nights to attend K-Fed’s Halloween album release party, hosted by Britney Spears herself. That’s right, the whole clan — the incomparable Brit, Kev, Sean P. and Sutton P. — may be out in full force for this one.

Here’s a list of the Gossip’s Top Five Uses For K-Fed’s Kicks:

  1. Market them as “haunted shoes” and sell them on eBay. Someone will be dumb enough to buy them.
  2. Throw them at Paris Hilton, just because that skank b!tch needs to be struck by as many blunt objects as possible.
  3. Donate them to the Oakland Raiders — those guys need all the help they can get.
  4. Bronze them for the symbolic value: They stink in the literal sense, while K-Fed stinks, figuratively, as a human being.
  5. Save them for awhile and offer them to Suri Cruise when she’s old enough to run away from home.